A huge key to success is properly framing your goals.
State your goals in a positive manner rather than a negative one. So, instead of listing all the things you’re going to give up (i.e. stop eating processed food), list the things you will gain (i.e. eating more whole foods). Believe it or not, re-framing your goals in the positive can help to remove mental blocks and get you closer to your goal. After all, no one wants to be restricted from doing something.
In our last post in the goal setting series, Trish talked about setting behavior-based versus outcome-based goals. To recap, setting behavior-based goals are specific, measurable actions that you can take to accommodate the results you desire. For example, instead of saying, “I want to lose 5 pounds this month,” you might say, “I will log my food to make sure I nail my macros.”
Today let’s talk about how you frame your goals. It may seem like a silly technicality, but whether we approach our goals in a negative or positive light will make a huge difference in how we approach this journey.
If you begin your journey with a list of things you must not do or must not eat, your fitness life can seem like a very negative and punishing place, full of restrictions. Who wants to live like that? The more that you tell yourself you can’t (or must not, under any circumstances, WHATSOEVER!!!!!!) have something, the more you tend to want it. It is simply human nature to want that which is forbidden.
Think about it. If you’ve ever dieted, you can probably relate to this scenario. You determine you are going to cut out every bit of added sugar to your diet. What happens the first time you have a little slip-up and allow yourself a piece of candy? Are you able to stop at just one, or are you compelled to finish the whole bag to get that pesky craving “out of your system?”
Instead of thinking about the behaviors that you need to stop, or do less of, what behaviors do you need to begin or do more of to accomplish your goals?
Increasing the frequency of healthy, goal-oriented behaviors will automatically crowd out the unhealthy, goal-sabotaging behaviors.
For example, instead of telling yourself that you need to eat less junk food, perhaps you could challenge yourself to try out some healthy alternatives to your family’s favorite fast food meals. Think about challenging yourself to incorporate one new healthy habit each month until they become second nature.
Even if your body is adequately nourished with a proper number of calories, impeccable macros, and sufficiently hydrated, you may feel mentally restricted if you are still telling yourself there are foods you cannot eat. Make sure that you plan to incorporate some of your favorite treats along the way as you progress towards your goals. Unless you have an actual physical intolerance to a certain food, there is no reason why most foods cannot be part of your healthy eating plan, regardless if your goal is to lose fat, gain muscle, or work on body recomposition.
This approach can be applied to your fitness goals as well. Instead of thinking, “I need to tighten up these flabby thighs,” focus on the changes you need to make to see the results you crave. Instead, you might focus on adding 25 pounds to your squat or improving your 5k time. Focusing on becoming a stronger individual in the gym will most likely lead to positive changes in your body. However, prioritizing strength and athleticism over physical appearance puts the control in your hands, and you will get to experience the empowerment and satisfaction of setting new PRs and watching yourself become stronger each day!
Enjoy the road ahead! Be kind to yourself as you work towards your 2014 goals. This journey is challenging enough without adding negativity and self-hate.
Keep your eyes fixed on your goals, and enjoy every moment and the lessons you will learn along the way. Here’s to your best year yet!
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Becca is a busy wife and homeschooling mother to five children ages 5 to 13. About three years ago, she embarked on a journey to health and fitness that resulted in the loss of approximately 100 pounds. Today, she is a competitive powerlifter and strongwoman who loves ice cream and deadlifts. As an ISSA certified personal trainer, she is passionate about helping women to get started on a lifestyle of strength and fitness.
I am so much stronger, mentally and physically than I ever realised I could be, and so much of that I credit to trusting the process of Eat More To Weigh Less and challenging and trusting myself. I’m the lowest weight I’ve been since my mid 20s (I’m now 31) and my heart is lighter too.
I’ve lost over 29kgs / 64.3lbs in the last year. I now buy clothes in “straight sizes” instead of “plus sizes.” I lost most of that weight in the six months since I’ve been following Eat More To Weigh Less. I’m not at my “goal weight” yet but that has become less important over time, especially as I reflect on how I’ve changed my relationship with my body and food over the last year to a healthy one. For me the main reason to care about the number on the scale now is because one of my goals for 2014 is to be able to deadlift my own body weight. I focus on small weight loss goals at a time with no “ultimate” number in mind. I now celebrate muscle and strength gains more than I celebrate a loss on the scale. Eat More To Weigh Less has taught me how much the diet industry and women’s media has failed us, and lied to us. When I reflect on the knowledge I have now and share it with others who ask how they can be successful with weight loss like I am, this process feels like a radical truth.
Ten years ago I was thrown against a wall by an ex and suffered from what was probably undiagnosed whiplash. I spent the next decade in chronic and debilitating pain and experienced frequent migraines. The pain was so bad a neurologist said the reason I spent a year throwing up multiple times a day was “stomach migraine.” I was really fit and slim before the injury but now in pain, I became afraid of movement, my body got fat and tired and my anxiety and depression got worse. I had a couple of years of intensive physiotherapy for my neck, which didn’t help. I lived like a victim. This man wasn’t the last abuser in my life, but he was the one who did the most mental and physical damage.
I worked so hard over the years to heal from this trauma and made some progress, but never got there while overwhelmed with other chronic health issues and battling with my weight. Over the last couple of years I have followed my intuition to release that trauma, making unconventional choices in the right “therapies” or “treatments.” I focused on relationships of love and trust in my life, and learned to love myself past the body positivity I tried to practice. I finally decided that body positivity could also mean it was okay to want to change my body. When I joined MyFitnessPal earlier in 2013, I wanted to lose weight but realised I needed to stop crash dieting, because I would lose only to regain. I’d been doing a lot of cardio and resistance training, but I didn’t feel balanced, and I was still binge eating. Overcoming disordered eating is possible, but it took me months of mindfulness and vigilance, and realising that instant gratification wasn’t helping or satisfying me.
I was lucky that some of the women on my friends list were following Eat More To Weigh Less, and I was encouraged to check out the forum and website. I had been eating my BMR (and not eating back any exercise calories) and losing weight, but with all the exercise I was doing I was hungry all the time. In June I took a leap of faith and upped my calories slowly. Since then I have a better grasp of my TDEE and eat a 10-20% cut which is around 2000 calories a day to lose weight. When I started eating more was when really started to make strength gains and lose more weight, consistently. There were times when I doubted the process, but Eat More To Weigh Less has allowed me more freedom with food and my lifestyle.
I eat sweet treats in moderation (almost daily)
I love food and I’m a great cook, and much of my social life revolves around sharing food with friends. I don’t eat diet foods. I don’t believe food has a moral value and while I enjoy it in moderation, I don’t feel guilty about the choices I make. I don’t punish myself by exercising more just because I ate more on a given day. I’ve always known how to eat healthily (I was brought up vegetarian though I’m no longer one) with a focus on fruit, vegetables and whole grains. My problem was eating too much (sugar especially) with emotional and hormonal binge eating, taking different medications for my health that made me gain even more weight, and not exercising enough. I haven’t cut anything out while counting calories, in fact I’ve probably added more, but with a greater balance. I’ve never liked soft drink and I don’t drink a lot of alcohol either, but still enjoy it on occasion. I could never eat low carb because I love carbs. My main focus is my protein macro and eating over 100g of protein a day, to help in building muscle. I find if I focus on protein all my other macros fall in line. I break so many of those stupid “dieting rules” and eat late dinners, snack late at night (I hate going to bed hungry) and I eat dessert nearly every day. Something so important I learnt when overcoming disordered eating was learning to listen to my body and hunger again, and trust it. I now know when I need to eat more and I’m not afraid to.
This process needs patience and the results will come. Be kind to yourself and nourish your body and mind with good food and new challenges. Celebrate the changes in your body and improvements in fitness and strength. Honour your body for how hard it works for you even with all your perceived imperfections, how you can love and move with it. Reach out to the compassionate, sensible and wise EM2WL team and forum members when you’re struggling or unsure.
I made 2013 my year of focusing on getting other chronic health conditions I had under control. Eating more and being fitter and stronger helped me find the courage and energy to pursue treatments I needed, because I didn’t want anything holding me back with my fitness goals! I grew bored with the cardio and resistance training I was doing. A girlfriend of mine loved lifting and talked about it all the time and I was in awe of her, but still afraid of further injuring my neck and being in more pain. I saw all the inspiring women from Eat More To Weigh Less on my friends list lifting and I wanted to start. Your encouragement made me feel braver. I paid a trainer for a few sessions to teach me how to correctly and safely do compound lifts, and then started StrongLifts on my own.
I include Pilates just for “kicks”
I’m always looking for ways to challenge my fitness rather than staying still physically (and mentally). Kiki recently helped me reflect on how my relationship with cardio has changed. I used to do more cardio so I could burn more and lose more, and that worked because I was eating well. That approach is boring and exhausting though. I even used to do cardio and lift weights on the same days, I’d hate to contemplate doing that often now! My cardio goal for next year is to find more opportunities and time to go on hikes with local groups, because it’s nice to get out of the city and the hikes are challenging. I get a lot of NEAT because I don’t have a car and I walk a lot. I’ve never been a runner but I’ve started doing C25K. I really look forward to it and love that it’s only a half hour commitment three times a week. I LOVE how efficient my workout is when I concentrate on compound lifts three times a week. Something Kiki wrote that resonated with me about designing her workout schedule: “some things are included out of necessity, and other just for kicks.” For me, lifting and doing some cardio is necessary, and Pilates is my kicks when I find time for it, or yoga. I change my workout routine as I accomplish goals or get bored and need variety. I’m never doing hours of cardio again though, unless it’s outdoors. I even want to do Park Runs next year – the old me would have shied from running outdoors with people I don’t know.
When I started lifting heavy weights and got strong it all came together. Today I have a strong back and shoulders and can hold my neck up without exhaustion or pain. My posture has improved. My chronic pain is gone and I rarely get migraines. I’ve never felt as feminine as I do now with curves and muscle (I joke that my body type is now “muscular hourglass”). I thought there’d be a point before now where I’d look at my body and think, “That’s enough muscle.” I now know I’ve got a long way to gountil that point, because I love celebrating more muscle! I’ve become a more confident woman in the last year. I wear sleeveless clothes outside the house now, and even wear a bikini to the beach.
I’m centred and I feel so powerful, and that feeling comes from challenging my strength and building muscle. I never thought I’d want my body to lift weights, and I didn’t know how much I’d enjoy it. Mentally I am calm and I feel like no one could (or should) mess with me. Family, friends and strangers remark on how happy, healthy and strong I am and look. I am less defensive and I don’t live in fear every day. If I ever have a daughter I will encourage her to do a martial art or lift weights, because I believe these are powerful practices to create a mental and physical posture to shield from potential abusers, and live with confidence and strength. To live with power. The real “secret” to my success so far has been getting strong!
I make sure to get in enough protein, & the rest falls into place!
Have an EM2WL transformation to share? Willing to let us tag along on your journey? We’d love to see it! Be featured on our Transformation/Journey page by submitting your story to Success@EM2WL.com
All my life I was overweight which turned into obesity in my adulthood. To make matters worse, I had a very sedentary lifestyle. I never exercised, never even played sports. It was a bad combination which seemed to culminate in depression and a terrible body image. In June 2011, I decided to take control.
Over the past 2.5 years, I have tried many different paths to weight loss and fitness. It was fun at times, and other times it was miserable. What it came down to is everything I did, everything I ate seemed to have to point to weight loss or a better body which left me in a constant state of stress and being unsatisfied with myself. With time, patience and a big case of the need-to-know’s, I feel like I have finally arrived at a comfortable, happy, strong place in my life.
I’ve spent the past year focusing on lifting after an injury sidelined me from marathon training. I was devastated, but I did like lifting, so I thought it would be a good transitional fitness plan. Little did I know that while I was healing, I was catching a fever for strength! I thought I loved running… but the way I felt about running can’t even compare to the way I feel about lifting. I gave up endurance running and my dabblings in strength training, and decided to make lifting “my thing.” I had to get over my fears of giving up the cardio, I also had to get over my fears of TRULY eating to maintenance, and in the process, I quit taking “progress pics” every few weeks. I started looking WITHIN and making changes to match my inner desires and quit looking at it as a means to an end goal of aesthetics.
Suffice it to say, this brings us to today. Well, maybe not literally today, but you know what I mean ;) On Saturday November 30th, I competed in my very first powerlifting meet. It was one of the most rewarding and amazing experiences in my fitness journey to date! I went home with the first place gold medal for my weight class and the biggest grin you can imagine. I am so excited for my future in this sport.
One thing that I never imagined would happen is that my husband is supremely proud of me and takes every chance he can to brag on me. This is a man who does NOT lift, but is very fit and obviously secure in himself! He loves that I am strong, capable and most of all doing what I love to do. He is constantly telling me how sexy I am, and how lucky he is to have me… and after 11 years of marriage, this is pretty precious. I believe it’s the confidence I now have. Doing what I love doing and being confident must make me more beautiful to him.
In total, I have lost 75 pounds since June 2011. I have gained about 5-10 back over the past year in lean mass and muscle. My body fat has dropped about 5% since summer of 2012 and most importantly, I have been able to go from eating 1400-1700 cals and “maintaining” the summer of 2012, to eating 2600-3000 and maintaining today.
Success looks different for different people. This is my success. I will not be “more successful” once I lose more fat, or have more developed muscles, I am not just a work in progress. My biggest success lies within and cannot be seen with your eyes, but can be found in my passion, confidence and dedication.
Down 70lbs and maintaining on 2600-3000 cals!
First Powerlifting meet
First place gold medal!
Have an EM2WL transformation to share? Willing to let us tag along on your journey? We’d love to see it! Be featured on our Transformation/Journey page by submitting your story to Success@EM2WL.com
Words that seem to strike fear in the hearts of dieting women across the globe. When did we start giving water so much power and authority?
Oh yes…that second word: WEIGHT. More specifically, water weight gain, has women everywhere constantly searching for solutions on how to “solve” it.
Sure, when it’s that time of month, and we can’t squeeze into our “good” clothes, it can be annoying. Or we have a sodium fest, and feel like our jewelry is cutting off our circulation…not fun.
But is water really our nemesis?
Typical concerns of Water Weight Gain
Retained water becomes contaminated because your kidneys can’t filter out contaminants properly when you’re dehydrated. The liver is then called upon to help process these waste products, which interferes with one of its main functions, breaking down body fat. So without sufficient water in your body you’re likely to end up water-logged and bloated.
This is also said to lead to a problem with sodium. When you’re dehydrated, sodium can’t be adequately flushed from the body, causing further water retention, and any additional sodium ingested in your diet simply aggravates the problem.
Water and your muscles
Sometimes it feels as if water is working against us when we develop that “soft” look to our muscles. This is because diets or activities that cause excessive fluid loss have a significant effect on muscle size. Without sufficient water you become dehydrated. Your body begins to retain water to protect itself, and much of this water is stored subcutaneously, which smooths out muscle definition dramatically. This is why you hear of bodybuilders drinking up to a gallon or more each day to offset their higher sodium diets and intense workouts, in attempt to keep their muscles “hard” and visible.
Water weight gain during new workout phases
Gaining weight (~5 lbs) when starting a new exercise program is completely normal. If you are changing up your program every 4-6 weeks, then expect a jumpy scale. Period. It’s all good. Just let your body do it’s thing and stop depending on the scale ONLY for progress reports.
This is important to remember if you are in a program that uses “phases” that change regularly (such as LU app, STS, CLX, P90X, etc). You may experience a jump with every phase, and the scale could take up to three weeks to “equalize.” This means that you may only see the scale weight drop ONE week out of the four, then see it shoot back up again when you change something up. Don’t stress about it. What’s the alternative? Doing the exact same regimen (in attempt to avoid water weight gain) and seeing NO results because your body has adapted?
Not the wisest choice.
That water retention/scale increase/DOMS combo is your sign that your body is still being challenged by the current workout, which means that changes are on the way. We just need to learn not to shun it (water retention) so much.
Constant water retention from strength training
Many ladies get so caught up in that scale number that they feel like “Why bother lifting? I don’t want to carry extra water all the time”…but we are SUPPOSED to carry that water.
Blood = 92% water, the brain & muscles = 75% water, and bones = 22% water. Yet, on the flip side, obesity decreases the water in the body, to as low as 45% (as fat weight is only about 20-25% water).
You do the water math.
Women typically have less water than men (as a percentage), because they carry more fat. But think about it, men typically have an easier time with fat loss because they have more muscle.
The more muscle you carry, the higher your percentage of water will be. All. the. time.
To put it plainly, HEALTHY, and FIT bodies SHOULD carry water!
Coming to terms with a jumpy scale
Sometimes I feel like my weight only ever goes UP. But…when I focused on staying a number on the scale, I NEVER progressed, and actually started looking WORSE. Once I let it go, the floodgates opened and my body begin to FINALLY transform. It really is a hindrance to put so much emphasis on scale weight.
If you know that a jumpy scale will depress you, stay OFF. Let the mirror, pics, the way your clothes fit, and the constant compliments dictate your progress.
Q*: I would like to lose another 20 pounds. I run 3 or 4 times a week, and will soon be training to run a half marathon. I am a 45 year old woman and my job is pretty sedentary, even though I stand most of my day. I know that as I get closer to the goal weight that things could slow down. I would just like to set myself up for success. I know that I should be lifting, but I really don’t want to. Can I still reach my goals without strength training?
A: I won’t say that you need to do something that you truly don’t want to, if that’s what you’re expecting. But…first hear me out, so that you can understand what you’re up against.
As you’ve likely have heard, there are huge benefits of strength training that have nothing to do with your outward physique. But since the question pertains specifically to your physique goals, I will only address that aspect:
First of all, there’s nothing inherently wrong with doing cardio (presuming you’re not doing a reset), and many cardio lovers have found ways to be successful with EM2WL. The key for them has been in including lifting (and even bulk cycles), for greater physique goal success.
When you choose to do cardio only, you’re left as merely a smaller version of your current self. With all the same lumps and bumps in the same areas. Combine aging with excessive cardio and dieting, and it’s a recipe for muscle loss. Losing muscle makes you “skinny fat.” This means that you will have to go DOWN in weight each year, just to look the same as you did the year before. As you can see, over time, this could become problematic. Soyour goal weight will need adjustment if you’re looking for a specific “look” and only doing cardio…and even then, it’s not so certain that you’ll get it.
Muscle is what gave us our former youthful look. Without it, we will begin to look bigger, and hence older (even if we stayed the exact same weight that we were in our youth). Lifting will not only keep that youthful tightness of the body, but also allow you to hit your goal WITHOUT having to lose so much weight.
The other thing with doing cardio only is that our body adapts to cardio. So if you’re doing a lot, then at one point you may not be eating enough for your super high burns, but over time, that amount will become too much as your body adapts to the activity to become more efficient. So you’ll be doing the exact same amount of work, yet burning much less calories.
It actually does your metabolism a disservice over time. You don’t want to get to the point that your body views running 10-15 miles, the same as going to check your mailbox: just part of the routine, and thus no changes being made.
It’s fine if running is your passion and you want to do it no matter the physique consequence (as many runners will do). If you want to get smaller, then you should fully understand how running only will play into the picture.
I’d highly recommend mixing some lifting into your routine.
Our motto, “cardio for fun, weights to transform.” If you abide by that, then you can still do the cardio that you love, simply for enjoyment. But if you really want to transform your body, allow the iron to assist you.
With all that said…if you still aren’t feeling weight lifting, then I would keep close eye on your heart rate monitor. If you notice that you are burning less calories than you used to, then you are likely eating too much, and will have to continue to adjust accordingly.
Photo cred: flickr ~ rvwithtito
Have fun in your half marathon!
How about you fam? Any tips for a newbie that’s not into lifting? Are you reaching your physique goals with cardio only? Have you had to make any adjustments in order to keep progressing?
*Q & A posts are excerpts from actual submitted emails from clients and fam. Have a question that you’d like to see addressed in Q & A or explained in a future article? Drop us a line below!
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Focusing on becoming a stronger individual in the gym will most likely lead to positive changes in your body. However, prioritizing strength and athleticism over physical appearance puts the control in your hands, and you will get to experience the empowerment and satisfaction of setting new PRs and watching yourself become stronger each day!
Water and your muscles
Constant water retention from strength training
Coming to terms with a jumpy scale
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