by EM2WL | Jun 30, 2014 | Building Muscle, Self Acceptance, The Journey
Perpetual diets often land us on a completely different path than expected. Many of us find ourselves on the frontline of Eating Disorder recovery, or fighting off the ED thoughts that a lifetime of dieting encourages. April shares a reflection of her mental journey with ED, an amazing encouragement for those still in the struggle.
It’s been about two years since I met Kiki and Lucia and the EM2WL society. Two years since I started really listening to the advice given to me. Two years since I started fighting the false need to restrict and purge, two years since I threw out the 100-calorie meals and traded them in for what my body really needed, two years since I put down the baby weights and picked up a barbell.
It hasn’t been easy.
The summer of 2012 is when it all began, and I remember it so well. With the encouragement of EM2WL, I’d started to eat a bit more, quite a bit more, and lifting just prior to our summer vacation in Canada. I was still working out like a maniac, getting up at 5am for cardio and then following it up with weights after work. The idea of going to a foreign country without any specific workout schedule was debilitating. The weeks leading up to vacation, I had mini panic attacks that only slowed to a mild fear once my friend secured me a 3-day pass to the Y for our visit.
Also during those weeks, I started to bloat. The extra calories I was consuming (and needed) were throwing my poor body out of whack. My metabolism was such a mess from years of underfeeding it that my body had no choice but to bloat up. My children’s size 12 jean leggings were starting to get too tight, but I shoved myself into them during that vacation. I still fit into my double zero shorts, but barely, and I could see the bloat. I didn’t help matters by drinking a lot of wine that week and staying up late after everyone went to bed to binge on “healthy” snacks I’d brought with us. They were calories I needed, but I ate most of my calories all at once late at night along with a glass of wine. I was so tempted to purge, but I couldn’t since it wasn’t our house, and it was a small house. I would have been heard. I’d never felt so fat.
Once we got home, we had a few weeks before our next vacation – a long weekend on Chincoteague Island. I spent the time detoxing and getting back into my workouts, and I started to feel a bit better. My body was still bloated, and I bought children’s size 14 jean leggings, but for the most part, I still thought I could fit into my double zeros forever. I was determined to do so. Somehow, despite the recent bloating, the four days on the Island were the last days I ever felt “skinny.”
Then we came home, and I started the New Rules of Lifting for Women. Now I REALLY gained weight. I still ate more and lifted heavy, and I was forced to face facts: I would have to buy new clothes.
Over the next year or so, I pretty much hated myself. I’d spend nights binging and sometimes purging. I stuffed my body into clothes that were too tight, praying for my weight to drop. I played with the idea of restricting again, and occasionally, I gave in. Sometimes I changed my mind about lifting and went back to cardio, but nothing changed. Throughout it all, Kiki and Lucia and a handful of others stuck around. They listened to my complaints and encouraged me to keep pushing forward. They filled my head with more and more knowledge about how to eat and what was happening to my body and why lifting is so important.
Eventually, I bought clothes that fit and started to feel marginally better. Gradually, I learned what kinds of workouts my body could handle without destroying my mental state. I finally stopped killing myself with 2 workouts/day and limited most of my cardio to HIIT (albeit LONG HIIT) and hid my scale away which made a HUGE difference in the way I felt about my body.
I can’t pinpoint the exact date or even the exact month, but at some point during 2013, my metabolism evened out. The bloating disappeared. I was still heavier and larger than I’d been during most of my late 20s, but I started to have “sleek” days. I started to enjoy lifting and to rejoice over the NSVs.
I can confidently say that 2014 has been the best year of my life in all the ways that matter. I’m learning about lifting phases and how to plan my workout rotations to keep my body guessing. I no longer stress my body with long HIIT or steady state sessions which means more time with my family. I FINALLY allow my body 2 days of rest each week, and to my surprise, that small change filled me with such relief! It was as though I was finally giving myself permission to sit back and enjoy those weekends without the stress of choosing a workout and trying to burn calories. Most days, I feel great!
I still stress sometimes over calories numbers – calories burned during workouts and calories consumed. I still have my “yuck” days, and I am still TERRIFIED to take a full rest week during vacation this year!
But I’ve learned so much over these past two years and come so far, it’s hard to believe I’m the same person. I no longer look at the pictures of myself when I was 90 pounds and yearn to be that small anymore. I’ve thrown out all of my double zeros and don’t even care what the number on the tags are when I go shopping for new clothes. I have everything from small to large, from 4 to 9, and I just don’t care anymore so long as it fits well and looks good. I’m more confident than I’ve ever been. I’m talking my entire life. I still have the parts of me I’d like to make better, but for the most part, I’ve given up the comparison to other women and the self-name-calling. I’ve given up looking at myself every day and walking away “knowing” I am fat. Because I’m not. Because I’m strong and fit and healthy and beautiful. I don’t feel that every day, but I almost never hate myself.
I could never have gotten here without all of you. Never. Thank you all so much for your love and support, for encouraging me through this journey rather than giving up on me. Here’s to the journey, no matter how tough. The end is nowhere in sight, but possibilities are endless.
Strong and fit!
by | Jun 3, 2014 | Consistency, Increasing calories, Testimonials, Transformations
I have been on this journey for about five months now, at the beginning I’ve got to admit whilst the science made sense I was skeptical. I kept thinking well if it’s that easy why isn’t everyone else doing it. I had already come to the conclusion that these low calorie diets were doing more harm than good, had already experienced that first hand. I didn’t want another holiday to go by where I would be vetting the photos before showing anyone to take out the horrible, fat ones. I figured ‘why not’ there’s months til my holiday I’ll give it a go.
I’m not going to say that the journey has been easy, I have had to deal with some pretty big mental issues. It’s extremely hard to get your head around the fact that you really can eat more (in my case a lot more and still lose weight) and also learn to deal and how to cope when the scale doesn’t do what it’s supposed to. But I persevered believing that the hardship and the stress would be worth it in the end. So I continued to eat more, continued to lift heavy weights, and now also added in running. It no longer was a hardship, somehow along the way it became ‘normal’ and I stopped fretting about the scale and stopped fretting about going slightly over my allowance.
I log my intake on a regular basis, and do keep an eye on my weight, but I really feel as though for the first time in a long time, my weight has taken a back seat. I feel as though I am just living my life, without worrying about what I’m eating all the time. I can’t pretend I’m there yet, I still have several inches of fat that I have to lose before I can say I have finished cutting. But I wouldn’t have gotten to this point if someone hadn’t sent me the link to the group one day – this is why I feel that the Eat More to Weigh Less lifestyle (because it shouldn’t be viewed as a quick fix diet!) should be shouted from the rooftops!!!
I am obviously delighted that I have lost weight and inches, but I really feel that my favourite benefit is feeling as though I have control over my eating. I don’t binge, then feel guilty and wanting to starve myself. I don’t feel as though there are things that are out of reach or feel as though I have to restrict my eating of certain things.
It sounds crazy, but I am seriously happily living my life, I don’t think I even really think about food like I did before, where I was constantly thinking about what I was going to eat next, is everyone going to think I’m a pig if I have another chocolate or biscuit. Now I literally eat what I want and move on, and it’s AWESOME!!!!!!!
So, I feel like I’m here to stay the course, I have totally turned my life around, and am eating loads and exercising loads (and really enjoying it). I have found that I have started to inspire more people around me, now they can see my results, so hopefully they will also abandon these crazy 1,000 calories diets in favour of listening to what their body wants. Everyone should know that there is no need to starve themselves, there is another healthier way of doing this.
by | May 28, 2014 | Consistency, Fat Loss / Cutting, Motivation, Testimonials, Transformations
I am almost two years into my EM2WL journey. Having been a classic yo-yo dieter since around the age of 15, I was introduced to MyFitnessPal by a colleague in April 2012 at the age of 29. I started out typically on 1200 cals and not understanding the necessity of eating back exercise calories.
I stalled out and lost will power pretty quickly and I wasn’t seeing the losses that I had done when eating that little when on diets in previous years. While hovering around the forums I soon started to notice mention of EM2WL and TDEE and BMR and it all got me thinking. I soon joined at EM2WL group and started reading all about the concept of losing weight by eating a small cut from TDEE. I tried out various calculators and was shocked to discover my estimated TDEE should be somewhere in the region of 2700 cals. No wonder I had been struggling to get through the day on 1200, which inevitably led to binges.
I decided to increase my calories to around 2200 in June 2012, around a 15% cut from TDEE. I started EM2WL at around 145 lbs and after a few months I stepped on the scale for the first time and found I had been maintaining. I was a little disappointed that my TDEE didn’t seem to be as high as the calculators put me, but I became to understand that I had lost a lot of muscle mass through my years of yo-yo dieting, leading to a suppressed TDEE. I then realised just how much harm I had unknowingly been doing to my body.
At that point, rather than cut my calories, I increased them to around 2500 and started lifting heavier. At this level I slowly started gaining weight but I was enjoying strength training and enjoying nourishing my body well and hitting my macros.
Over the next 15 months I gained a total of 20 lbs, taking me up to around 165 at my highest. However, I was still fitting into the same clothes and my food intake varied between 2200 and 3000 calories per day. During those months there were only two days when I ate less than 2000 and that was when I was sick.
The added weight has helped me regain some of my lost muscle mass. So in January 2014, partly spurred on by the concept of being bridesmaid for a close friend at Easter, I decided to make a concerted effort at a cut.
I settled at around 1900-2100 cals Monday to Friday, allowing myself around 2500 cals Saturday and Sunday so I could still enjoy my favourite meals out and take-outs as I always had. By mid-April I had lost around 10 lbs and I finally started to see muscle definition in my arms, shoulders and calves. My thighs are firming up, and my belly and back have less fat than ever before. In the past when I had starved myself down to a size 4 I was skinny-fat and had a pot-belly.
My TDEE is gradually increasing and I have now switched to maintenance for the summer, averaging around 2400 per day while focus on my lifting. I then aim to increase my calories again over the winter to try and add back more precious muscle. Over time I want to see my actual TDEE raised to where it should be based on my activity level. I currently cycle commute to work, strength train three times per week and do yoga or pilates once per week. I also enjoy an active outdoors lifestyle as much as the British climate allows, hiking and cycling when and where I can.
It’s been a long road and I’m still a work in progress but I am finally comfortable in my body, starting to love it a little bit more each day. I enjoy a balanced diet which allows me to eat all the foods I enjoy. I still can’t quite believe that I’ve found out that there really is a way to have it all.
I feel so positive about the future now and I couldn’t have got here without Kiki, Lucia and the EM2WL team. Thank you all so much!
by | Apr 15, 2014 | Building Muscle, Cardio, Consistency, Fat Loss / Cutting, Transformations
If someone would have told me 20 years ago that I needed to increase my caloric intake by 30% to lose body fat, I would have laughed while continuing to lace up my Mizuno running shoes preparing for my hour long run. Now 5 kids later, a little older and a little wiser, with decades of trial and error underneath my belt, eating more to weigh less has been a key factor in my fitness journey.
A common misconception among those that want to lose weight is that you need to drastically cut calories and increase cardio workouts. This problematic approach has resulted in many trying to lose weight to only damage their metabolism. I speak on this issue not only from reading other stories, but I have personally experienced this metabolic damage which resulted in a serious health issue called Adrenal Fatigue. After everything I have learned, when I log onto My Fitness Pal and I see I see others eating 1200 calories with high calorie burns, my instincts are to immediately say, “Stop! Don’t do what I did.” As a longtime “My fitness pal” member, I recall an honest pal, Becca, specifically sharing this very concern with me that I was exercising too much, and not eating enough calories. Initially, for many weeks, I held onto the fallacy that I would attain my dream body while continuing on this path of destruction.
It was not until “my plan” to reach my “goal weight” by my 38th birthday came to a halt when my body reached homeostasis. I had reached a plateau in my weight loss journey and I was no longer losing fat, or gaining muscle. I was starving, exhausted and my body was at a complete standstill. Exasperated and feeling defeated, I went back to the drawing board to research fat loss remembering all the while Becca’s encouragement to eat more. Becca introduced me to a website for calculating calories. After spending some time on this website, I was shocked at the advice given. Based on my height, weight and activity level, I needed to be consuming 30% more calories. This line of thinking was so shocking and it went against every principle “I thought” I knew about losing weight.
I even approached my husband with my concerns asking his advice. With the research I had been doing, along with the advice given by Becca and Kiki, it was evident a metabolic reset was necessary. In terror, just 3 weeks away from attempting to reach my birthday goal, I began reverse dieting adding 50-100 calories weekly to reach my Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE). At this time I also implemented a plan to strategically count my macros. I pay close attention to the number of grams of proteins, carbs and fats I intake daily. From my research, the keys to cutting body fat are increasing calories while counting macros, reducing cardio, and increasing my weight lifting.
Well, my 38th birthday came and went. The scale never reached the number in my head, but my goal had changed during this time. I was determined to be fit and healthy versus being skinny. I continued on the metabolism reset with correct macros and increased calories while simultaneously reducing my cardio, and lifting heavy weights.
The number on the scale temporarily went up, but then my weight leveled out. One of the first physical changes I observed was my lack of hunger, increased energy level as well as the change in my body composition. My cellulite and fat began to diminish and I could see I was building muscle to form shape to my body. These major changes finally allowed me to feel more comfortable with my body.
Although, I agree with counting your macros daily food intake, I am not a fan of “If It Fits Your Macros” simply because many will eat pop tarts, snickers bars, and a bag of chips, if it fits their macros. Although, I do have a weekly cheat, I attempt to eat real whole foods. Food is fuel. As a general rule, I stay away from processed foods, which means making time for prepping meals. With a large family to take care of and working 30+ hours weekly planning meal prep time is just as important as planning my workouts.
I am a homeschooling mother of 5, and I hold a 30+ hour job outside of the home. I make time for heavy lifting 5 days a week along with meal planning. This is not a New Year’s Resolution. This is mine and my husband’s lifestyle. My continued love for fitness has propelled my desire to become a certified personal trainer to continue to learn about fitness while helping others achieve their fitness goals.
Don’t give up on your fitness goals. I believe that anyone who truly wants to be fit and healthy will make the time. There is no secret pill or supplement. Hard work and dedication will help you get to your desired level of fitness. I know the proposition of adding calories for weight loss seems improbable, but I am living proof that it works.
If you are inspired by Tracy’s amazing story, make sure to follow her on Instagram!
Becca is a busy wife and homeschooling mother to five children ages 5 to 13. About three years ago, she embarked on a journey to health and fitness that resulted in the loss of approximately 100 pounds. Today, she is a competitive powerlifter and strongwoman who loves ice cream and deadlifts. As an ISSA certified personal trainer, she is passionate about helping women to get started on a lifestyle of strength and fitness.
by EM2WL | Apr 7, 2014 | The Journey
So I’ve sent in my success story before of my weight loss but I just thought I would follow up.
I hit my “goal weight” almost a year ago but when I hit it I knew I wanted more! Being 5’3 everything says I should weigh 130-140 so I’ve been trying for a year to get my weight down…during this time, I stopped counting my calories and tried to make better food choices by eating no processed food as much as I can but it slips in their here and there ;) I kept my weight training in and just recently added in a bit more cardio.
The scale never goes down, this whole time it only goes 150-155 and I’m so frustrated so I started meeting with a trainer and he’s been tracking my bodyfat, and in three weeks I went from 17% body fat to 16% and down 3.5lbs (of fat) but the scale has never moved. It’s been the same! That means I’m gaining muscle and losing fat! I feel so great and I finally believe that the scales LIE!!!! Here is a picture of only three weeks in which I went down in bodyfat percentage but not the scale.
I know how success stories keep me going everyday! Life struggles are always there and knowing the little things can push you through is what its all about!
Thanks ladies for all the inspiration!!!
Melanie
Have an EM2WL transformation to share? Willing to let us tag along on your journey? We’d love to see it! Be featured on our Transformation/Journey page by submitting your story to Success@EM2WL.com
by Trish Adams | Feb 28, 2014 | Cardio, Former Fitness Competitors, Interviews/Guest Posts, Testimonials
After working with a personal trainer for 2 years and competing in her first competition, Stephanie realized that under-eating and doing excessive cardio may not have been the best advice. Now she has put competing on hold to focus on building healthy habits. 
Five years ago I was going through many things in my life that most of my closest friends and family weren’t even aware of. I was depressed and had blown up to 220 pounds. I hated exercise and loved food (still love food). I was embarrassed to even leave my house in fear I would run into someone I knew. A friend asked me to start walking with her. “Ugh!! Really??”..was likely my response. She continued to nag me until I finally gave in. We started walking the track a few times a week. Just a mile. Felt pretty good though. I decided that I hated the way I looked and felt and I was the only person that could fix it. So I started watching my portions and started exercising at home for 20 minutes 6 times a week. Then my friend asked me to do a bootcamp with her. “Ugh!!!!” Yep, again. After assuring me it was suitable for all fitness levels (it wasn’t….at all) I again gave in and went. Longest, hardest and most miserable 60 minutes of my life. But I did it and continued to do it for several weeks a few nights a week until the camp was over. After losing 30 pounds on my own, I was introduced to a personal trainer. I asked his price and hired him on the spot. This was a huge turning point. I trained 3 times a week and took spin 3 times a week. My trainer mentioned the possibility of me competing in fitness competitions. It sounded very intriguing and what a goal!!!! I trained with my trainer 3 times a week for 2 years. In that time I did compete in my first fitness competition. It was probably the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done…and the most physically, mentally and emotionally wrecking.
Stephanie’s Transformation
After two years I felt I was outgrowing my trainer and wanted to go in a different direction. I felt the next natural step for me was to become certified to train (I was already a certified spin instructor by this time). I became certified and continued to compete…learning from my mistakes and really bad advice all along the way. Under-eating and over-doing cardio. This year I really changed my approach and decided to skip competing this season. I was developing healthier habits and was afraid my habits were so new that if I competed I would resort back to old ways. Will I compete again? Yes. Hopefully with a much more wise approach. Until then I will continue to search for my happy place while motivating and training others while helping them avoid the pitfalls I suffered. Exercise is the easy part…food…that’s tough. I have to remember to give myself credit (and a break) for how far I have come…even though I still have so far to go to become balanced.
Has eating more changed your life? Have an EM2WL transformation to share? We’d love to see it! Be featured on our Transformation/Journey page by submitting your story to Success@EM2WL.com
Spin photo credit: Photostock
It’s been about two years since I met Kiki and Lucia and the EM2WL society. Two years since I started really listening to the advice given to me. Two years since I started fighting the false need to restrict and purge, two years since I threw out the 100-calorie meals and traded them in for what my body really needed, two years since I put down the baby weights and picked up a barbell.
Once we got home, we had a few weeks before our next vacation – a long weekend on Chincoteague Island. I spent the time detoxing and getting back into my workouts, and I started to feel a bit better. My body was still bloated, and I bought children’s size 14 jean leggings, but for the most part, I still thought I could fit into my double zeros forever. I was determined to do so. Somehow, despite the recent bloating, the four days on the Island were the last days I ever felt “skinny.”
I can’t pinpoint the exact date or even the exact month, but at some point during 2013, my metabolism evened out. The bloating disappeared. I was still heavier and larger than I’d been during most of my late 20s, but I started to have “sleek” days. I started to enjoy lifting and to rejoice over the NSVs.
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