All my life I was overweight which turned into obesity in my adulthood. To make matters worse, I had a very sedentary lifestyle. I never exercised, never even played sports. It was a bad combination which seemed to culminate in depression and a terrible body image. In June 2011, I decided to take control.
Over the past 2.5 years, I have tried many different paths to weight loss and fitness. It was fun at times, and other times it was miserable. What it came down to is everything I did, everything I ate seemed to have to point to weight loss or a better body which left me in a constant state of stress and being unsatisfied with myself. With time, patience and a big case of the need-to-know’s, I feel like I have finally arrived at a comfortable, happy, strong place in my life.
I’ve spent the past year focusing on lifting after an injury sidelined me from marathon training. I was devastated, but I did like lifting, so I thought it would be a good transitional fitness plan. Little did I know that while I was healing, I was catching a fever for strength! I thought I loved running… but the way I felt about running can’t even compare to the way I feel about lifting. I gave up endurance running and my dabblings in strength training, and decided to make lifting “my thing.” I had to get over my fears of giving up the cardio, I also had to get over my fears of TRULY eating to maintenance, and in the process, I quit taking “progress pics” every few weeks. I started looking WITHIN and making changes to match my inner desires and quit looking at it as a means to an end goal of aesthetics.
Suffice it to say, this brings us to today. Well, maybe not literally today, but you know what I mean ;) On Saturday November 30th, I competed in my very first powerlifting meet. It was one of the most rewarding and amazing experiences in my fitness journey to date! I went home with the first place gold medal for my weight class and the biggest grin you can imagine. I am so excited for my future in this sport.
One thing that I never imagined would happen is that my husband is supremely proud of me and takes every chance he can to brag on me. This is a man who does NOT lift, but is very fit and obviously secure in himself! He loves that I am strong, capable and most of all doing what I love to do. He is constantly telling me how sexy I am, and how lucky he is to have me… and after 11 years of marriage, this is pretty precious. I believe it’s the confidence I now have. Doing what I love doing and being confident must make me more beautiful to him.
In total, I have lost 75 pounds since June 2011. I have gained about 5-10 back over the past year in lean mass and muscle. My body fat has dropped about 5% since summer of 2012 and most importantly, I have been able to go from eating 1400-1700 cals and “maintaining” the summer of 2012, to eating 2600-3000 and maintaining today.
Success looks different for different people. This is my success. I will not be “more successful” once I lose more fat, or have more developed muscles, I am not just a work in progress. My biggest success lies within and cannot be seen with your eyes, but can be found in my passion, confidence and dedication.
Down 70lbs and maintaining on 2600-3000 cals!
First Powerlifting meet
First place gold medal!
Have an EM2WL transformation to share? Willing to let us tag along on your journey? We’d love to see it! Be featured on our Transformation/Journey page by submitting your story to Success@EM2WL.com
Now that you have your list of fitness goals, look deeper into the reasons why you want to achieve them. What is really driving you to make this change? Maybe you want to set a better example for your kids or something similar. Willpower is an exhaustible resource and having that emotional tie in to your goal will help pull you through the tough times. Referring to this list regularly will help reinforce your commitment.
By now, you should have a clear-cut idea of the goals that you want to accomplish for this year. Hopefully you have a list of some outcome-based goals that you intend to work towards in accomplishing your main goals. And you’ve framed those goals in such a way that you are working on building positive habits, rather than eliminating negative ones.
Now it’s time to get personal and dig deep into the reasons for your motivation. Why is it important for you to reach your goal? There are a number of reasons why you might set fitness goals. Maybe you want to set a better example for the little ones who are watching your every move, do away with high blood pressure, or feel more confident when you wear that bikini for your upcoming beach vacation.
As you think about the factors that are motivating you, remember that ultimately YOU are your best motivator and it is YOU who needs to own this journey. You need to determine what will motivate you to keep going when your willpower runs out. Others may be able to encourage you, but it is YOU who must make the hard choices and remain consistent when you feel like giving up.
Remember to continue to cast your goals in a positive, not negative light. If you begin your goal setting process from the place of feeling disgusted with the way you look, it is highly likely that you will approach developing healthy habits as “punishment.” This is the wrong way to approach lasting lifestyle changes! If you view fitness and nutrition as punishment, you are far less likely to remain consistent. Change your mindset! Remaining consistent in the behaviors that will help you succeed in reaching your goals is an incredibly rewarding, not punishing experience.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be proud of the way that you look. However, placing too much emphasis on attaining a certain look can drain the joy out of life. Try to keep the focus of your goals on performance and outcomes. This can be incredibly difficult for us, particularly as women living in a culture that places so much emphasis on how we look. It is easy for us to become obsessive about the way we look, and often the truly important things in our lives suffer as a result. Self-loathing, body shaming, anxiety, depression, and perfectionism often are present in those who are overly concerned with their physical appearance. Unable to attain to this impossible standard of perfection, it is easy to temporarily stop caring, which unfortunately leads to more self-loathing, and the cycle continues.
Regardless of where you are right now in your journey, be proud of who you are and do not subject yourself to body shaming as a way to motivate yourself. Don’t wait until you’ve accomplished your goals to feel great. Make sure you have plenty of options to look and feel your best, right now!
You may want to answer some questions in your fitness journal to help you think about the reasons for your goals. Jotting down a a few thoughts will give you something to refer back to and remind you of why this is important when you feel your willpower diminishing.
What goals do you have?
Why is it important for you to accomplish these goals?
What drives you?
What makes you feel happy?
How will you feel when you reach your goals?
Images courtesy of: stockimages, Stuart Miles, Maya Picture of freedigitalimages.net
Becca is a busy wife and homeschooling mother to five children ages 5 to 13. About three years ago, she embarked on a journey to health and fitness that resulted in the loss of approximately 100 pounds. Today, she is a competitive powerlifter and strongwoman who loves ice cream and deadlifts. As an ISSA certified personal trainer, she is passionate about helping women to get started on a lifestyle of strength and fitness.
Q: Confession…I don’t want to go to my sister’s wedding because of my weight. Nothing looks good on me! My sister even gave me a diet that she lost a bunch of weight in two weeks (like 600-900 cal a day!). That was a month ago and I’m going to see her next week! I’m thinking of telling her that if I don’t feel comfortable by then, I’m not going to her wedding!?! I have a very critical family!! I hate being the fat kid of the family!! Like they always tell me “I have a pretty face but…”
Everybody tells me that I should love me the way I look BUT I CAN’T!!!!! These people are the same type that look at you up and down all night long!!!
A: You should absolutely go to your sister’s wedding! NO matter what! Find the perfect dress for YOU, and wear it with pride and confidence. That is more than half the battle.
Remember that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to make improvements, but if you can’t love yourself the way you are now, that will not change when you get to your goal size. Trust me on that one. Self acceptance is key. I learned (am learning) the hard way. Our way of thinking doesn’t change no matter what size we are.
I’ll match your confession, with a confession:
I’ve dealt with the issues that you’re talking about at EVERY size.
Even now I still have to battle these things. I don’t know if you watched my recent vid (or saw the tell all pics) about all that stress weight that I gained?
What I didn’t mention is that I also had to attend my own sister’s wedding during that time! I was 6 sizes larger than normal, and couldn’t even fit the dress that I’d brought to wear!!!
How devastating! I had to go out (just a couple days before the wedding) and buy a dress. A MUCH bigger size dress. Pretty humiliating.
Last minute dress shopping – I quickly discovered that this style of dress best hid my “flaws”
But guess what? I made the choice to buy a dress that fit me and complimented me well and to rock it with as much confidence as I could muster…in other words “fake it til you make it” LOL
And guess what…because I was confident, it spread. People complimented me, and said how much they loved the dress, and my husband kept telling me how great I looked. None of the scenarios I’d dreamed up in my head just days before even came close to happening. NO ONE asked “hey what size is that dress?” or “I thought you were a personal trainer, how did you get so fat, so fast?!”
They may have thought it…I don’t know…but really, who cares? I had a blast, and was there to support my sister. (The day wasn’t about me after all, who knew?!)
It’s now almost 3 months later, and I’m back down in sizes again. I also have an anniversary trip coming up that I’ve been looking forward to all year.
The day of the wedding
I’ve been planning on going shopping forever to get some cute little items for the trip, but do you know what’s been holding me back?
Thinking that I’m still not small enough yet. Dreading wearing a bathing suit, or having to buy clothes in certain sizes…
EVEN THOUGH I’ve lost all that stress weight, those SAME thoughts still come. 3 months ago, I’d have given anything to be this size, and now…I’m STILL self conscious about a bathing suit, lol…in front of the man who married me 12 years ago!! (To be fair, I’ve always been like that – even got down to size 0 and didn’t want to rock a bikini because my stomach wasn’t flat ENOUGH…drove hubs crazy!)
But I will fight through these thoughts, just like I did at the wedding, go shopping, find things that make me look great right.now.
And so will you.
Finding clothes that flatter me, no matter WHAT size, is always my cure all.
Stay strong on your path to self acceptance, because your sister (forgive me for saying) will have regained that weight 2-3xs by the time you reach your goal, and then YOU’LL be handing off your “secrets” to her.
Trust me on that one.
Stay strong, girl. And know that I understand. We all have those thoughts.
And don’t ever be afraid or sorry to reach out. I’m always here.
I was devastated, but I did like lifting, so I thought it would be a good transitional fitness plan. Little did I know that while I was healing, I was catching a fever for strength! I thought I loved running… but the way I felt about running can’t even compare to the way I feel about lifting. I gave up endurance running and my dabblings in strength training, and decided to make lifting “my thing.” I had to get over my fears of giving up the cardio, I also had to get over my fears of TRULY eating to maintenance, and in the process, I quit taking “progress pics” every few weeks. I started looking WITHIN and making changes to match my inner desires and quit looking at it as a means to an end goal of aesthetics.
One thing that I never imagined would happen is that my husband is supremely proud of me and takes every chance he can to brag on me. This is a man who does NOT lift, but is very fit and obviously secure in himself! He loves that I am strong, capable and most of all doing what I love to do. He is constantly telling me how sexy I am, and how lucky he is to have me… and after 11 years of marriage, this is pretty precious. I believe it’s the confidence I now have. Doing what I love doing and being confident must make me more beautiful to him.
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