by EM2WL | Jun 14, 2016 | Increasing calories, The Journey
Thank you for considering me to share my story with the world or whoever will read.
My story has been full of ups and downs. A lot of trial and error, tears and a lot of frustration. But without that it wouldn’t have made me the person that I am today.
I wasn’t always a bigger girl growing up. I actually used to get made fun of for being too skinny. But, with time, I ended up putting the weight on and totally losing control of it. I ballooned up to 230+ pounds. My doctor told me I was getting close to being pre-diabetic. So I knew right there and then I had to do something about it.
And this is where the frustration began.
I started off doing weight watchers, and then moving to Curves, and then joining a local gym which I was not happy at. Didn’t help that I had no idea what I was doing. At that point in time I was frustrated with seeing no progress and decided just to give up. I was sad and depressed. Avoided looking in the mirror and was disgusted having to shop in the plus size in all the stores. Nothing that I used to wear fit. Started wearing men’s clothes because it would hide a lot of my shame.
Then in 2012 a Snap Fitness opened up down the street from me which ended up saving my life and kick started my love of fitness. I started going everyday nearly two or three hours and eating very little. About 1200 calories a day. Yup got caught up in that cycle. Sure I lost weight. And before I knew it I was under 200 lbs. Took me a few years to go from a size 24 to a size 12 but had been logging my food with myfitnesspal since 2011.
Then the nasty bought of plateaus hit.
Frustration grew.
I found eatmore2weighless through the forums on myfitnesspal and started to apply it to my daily routine. I knew that with the amount of work that I was doing that I was just simply not eating enough. For a few years I went back and forth from eating 1200 calories to 1700 calories. If I didn’t see the pounds move then I would cut cut cut.
Which brings me to a couple months ago (April 2016) when after all the frustrations finally piled up I said to myself that I’m going to start eating more especially with doing heavy lifting 4 to 5 days a week. Looking at progress pics I can see myself leaning out and toning up even though I’m the same weight as I was in September 2015. I’ve gained a lot of self confidence over the years and have done a lot of reading and research that I feel confident enough to take a personal training course so I can help others on their journey.
I don’t know where I would be right now if I didn’t find EM2WL. I look forward to see where this journey takes me.
Read more of Crystal’s journey here.
by EM2WL | Jun 6, 2016 | Team EM2WL, Testimonials, The Journey
I am originally from Brazil, but the heat and sun of Florida took my heart away over ten years ago. Being a stay-at-home parent to a teenager, a pre-teen and a toddler can bring in some new challenges when it comes to working out and eating healthy. Our home is a multicultural place, a melting pot of Brazilian and Arabic backgrounds in America, with different languages and foods. And yes, we love food!
As a teen and as a young adult, I was always average size, but in my mind I felt huge. I chased the scale number of my early teen years and believed that I could only be thin if I over dieted and overdid cardio. I tried WW, Overeaters Anonymous, weight loss pills, you name it. It would not work for more than a few weeks, I would give up and regain the lost weight. I battled bulimia and chronic depression (triggered by prescription weight loss pills) in my early 20’s and thought I could never achieve the body I wanted. Yo-Yo dieting made me believe that I needed to settle for less to be able to enjoy life. Why bother dieting if it wouldn’t work? I didn’t think there was another way of achieving the body and confidence I wanted. This mind set would always keep me unhappy and unsatisfied deep inside.
Losing a baby when I was 5 months pregnant in 2011, (my second pregnancy, we went through multiple in-vitro treatments) was the wake-up call that I needed to force myself to change. Trying to make the sadness go away, I started working out. As long as I was tired and sweating, I would not feel the pain of the loss. Soon I realized that I needed way more than 1500 calories and something other than cardio madness to live well.
Through research, I found out that I could eat way more than that to lose the weight and look my best. I didn’t need hours in the gym on an empty stomach! Lifting heavier became a part of me. After discovering the EM2WL lifestyle, I got my CPT certification with NASM, became a Cathlete and looked better at almost 40 than in my 20’s! I could have my cake and eat it too!
After trying to put on muscle through a bulk (a bold move that taught me that the number on the scale does not matter at all), I found myself pregnant. It took me 18 months of eating and lifting to go back to my previous size. What I learned with EM2WL helped me go through this pregnancy without worrying about what would happen if I ate to support it. It gave me confidence to do what was best for my baby and for me, it taught me that I that I could do it.
No more settling for less than I deserve! Happiness in my own skin is something that I was only able to achieve after realizing that I could enjoy eating and working out without any extremes, in a mentally sane and moderate way, following the EM2WL lifestyle. I conquered binge eating, food was not the enemy anymore.
Now I can truly say that I am happy and confident with the body I have and how I look. I am able to enjoy life, family time and food. The number on the scale does not define me anymore. Lifting weights gave me confidence to face life in a different way. Working out at home is a good time saver for me, after all nothing beats working out in my pj’s! My garage became my girl cave, where I can just zone out and enjoy the iron. Most of my ideas and decisions happen when I’m lifting. It helps me connect to my mind, body and soul. Taking care of myself makes me a better person, a better mother and better wife.
One of my goals is to share my passion on being healthy and happy with my children and other people, especially moms who have the same struggles and youngsters who are still so lost in this journey of self discovery and self love. There is a better way other than hating and damaging your body thin.
by Trish Adams | Oct 1, 2015 | Testimonials, The Journey
Me as a kid, the toothpick.
Growing up I was always teased about how thin I was. I was called “tooth pick” by the kids at school and one of my family members kept telling me that I should be a model because I was so thin (it as supposed to be a compliment).
I never worried about how much I ate. To be honest, I wasn’t really in control of my food growing up. We were poor and we weren’t allowed to eat what we wanted, when we wanted. My brothers and I ate what was served to us, and if we were still hungry then too bad. When our financial situation improved, we still were not allowed to eat when we wanted. That’s just the way it was. The moment we got our hands on junk food or soda somewhere else (like my grandmother’s house), we went crazy. Cake, candies, cookies, were all devoured instantly without a care in the world.
I never worried about how clothes fit me in high school. I just grabbed a small or medium size and went with it. Pretty much anything fit. As I started to spend more time with friends whose food was less controlled, I got carried away with fast food that I didn’t get to eat often. I’d drink a 12 pack of soda in a weekend at their house BY MYSELF. I ate spoonfuls of Nutella from the jar in front of the computer while playing video games.
After about a year of that, I exploded my favorite pair of jeans. It wasn’t a big deal because I was still thin, but it shocked me a bit. So I threw myself at pitiful dieting by drinking Slimfast (like it was a drink and not a meal replacement.. oops) and diet sodas (which I would later learn were the cause of my migraines).
The problem was I had spent so much of my life cut off from these foods I wanted to eat and try, that it was as if I was making up for lost time somehow. I never learned to be in control of my own food. I was also depressed which didn’t help and I engaged in a lot of mindless and boredom eating.
Years later, when I found myself married to Frenchman living in France and unable to speak the language, my food problem got worse. We survived off pasta and I ate my meals in front of the computer when I was alone.
While I somehow managed to still remain thin in high school, it all started catching up to me really quickly. His family started making comments about my weight, and the older adults would offer me clothes that were too big for them.
I became offended. At the same time, I was unable to buy clothing that fit. French people are generally far more thin and short than we are in the US, and if my height wasn’t already a problem, my weight was. I was having to wear clothes for older ladies to have things that fit which is not what any young 20 something wants to wear.
The picture that changed everything.
I ended up pregnant and my weight went up even more. At first, I was actually LOSING weight (nausea left me without an appetite), but after complaints from my doctor, I started forcing myself to eat and took on even more weight. When I saw photos of myself after my daughter was born, I could stand still no longer. Something had to be done.
Around the birth of my daughter, I met another young American woman in my town who had a child recently as well. We got along great and she would tell me how hard she was working to lose weight. I thought she already looked really great. She had a gym membership (which I could not afford) and lived off smoothies and health food and all that stuff. We decided to try to lose weight together, and she would get on my case any time I had a soda or a burger or something like that. So I started trying to eat like her, and with the recent approval of Alli in France, we jumped on that diet.
Being on Alli was hard. I was really hungry. You were limited to 15 grams of fat per meal or you would suffering horrible embarrassing consequences (I’m sure you can find more details on Wikipedia). I learned quickly which foods were ok and lived off a lot of salad. I went from about 180lbs (or more, I had stopped weighing myself at some point) to 155lbs and loved the way I looked. I was hungry, but I looked good. The problem with pills and things is you can’t do that forever. Alli was expensive, and I thought that since I had lost the weight, I would keep it off. Boy, was I wrong.
My friend returned to the US and I was stuck again alone (sans friends) in France with no one to get on my case. I continued to eat like I had with Alli, but my weight wouldn’t budge. It started slowly creeping up and with that I became discouraged and slowly stopped trying. I gained back to 185 lbs.
In 2013, I joined My Fitness Pal determined to hold myself accountable. I started on the 1200 calorie diet that it threw at me, which reminded me a lot of when I was on Alli, and I was miserable. I became grumpy, grouchy, and was having constant headaches. I used RunKeeper to track any tiny bit of walking I did to hope that I could eat more food. Digging in the forums didn’t help me at first. I found so many topics of people saying how easy 1200 calories was to live off of if you ate the right foods and “ate clean”. That I just needed to wait for my stomach to get back to a normal size and I would be fine. Despite my best efforts and following MFP, I was not losing weight. I was about to give up again or just starve myself to get results.
Further digging would lead me to posts about IPOARM and EM2WL. People who ate REAL food and didn’t deprive themselves (which I knew from experience leads to binging). People who maybe didn’t weigh 115lbs or anything, but looked like a million bucks. They were healthy, they were fit and they weren’t going to extreme measures to get those results. I read a lot of the science behind it, and testimonials. I picked up the starter kit when it was offered for free one day and read it. It made sense. I was scared to up my calories (as everyone is at first), but I felt I I had nothing to lose. I wanted in.
After a few months of EM2WL, I’m daring a crop top!
How long have you been on this journey?
I’ve been working on trying to lose weight for years. I can’t even remember anymore. Regarding EM2WL specifically, I started at some point last year. I admit it hasn’t been perfect. During the metabolism reset I lost 5lbs. It was crazy, I was ecstatic. However, I had surgery for an umbilical hernia repair and for a while I let the calorie tracking slide as I needed to recover. After a few months I took a look at the scale and wasn’t happy. Over all these years of attempted weight loss, I developed an unhealthy relationship with the scale (which I am still working on) and when my weight went up and then got stuck, I fell back into eating even less calories.
It was only at the beginning of this year, that I took the cliché New Year’s resolution to do EM2WL, as that had actually worked before and was sustainable. I intended to actually STICK to it. I wanted to work on doing strength training as well. Unfortunately, (before I even started trying to strength train) my hernia had come back, but I decided to try to take it slow and do what I could.
I won a Fitbit in a “New Year, New You” contest which helped beat into my brain that I was actually doing far more activity than I thought (I don’t have a car and walk everywhere) and that eating more wasn’t going to ruin me.
I understand that you have dealt with disordered eating in the past. How were you able to overcome it?
For me to admit it was disordered eating still doesn’t register. I wasn’t eating well. I had a bad relationship with food. I would eat very little and then binge. It was bad and self-defeating. I found that when I allowed myself some of the things I wanted (burger, soda, cake or what have you), I was less out of control later. After I upped my cals, I found that I could make room for the things I wanted. I’d be more reasonable with portions. Instead of eating 5 slices of pizza, I’d have 2, for example.
There were also days where I went over. I stopped letting that control me. If I noticed I was over, I made sure to ask myself whether I was really hungry or just being bored or gluttonous the next time I wanted food. The next day, I tried to do better, but I stopped punishing myself. I still have days where I am over, I accept that not every day will be perfect and try to do better the next day. It’s just food, it isn’t a crime.
Heather is rocking leggings – clothes she never thought she could wear.
When did you first learn that you needed to eat more to reach your goals? What was your original response?
When I started reading about TDEE and BMR I learned that I was not eating enough at all, that was the end of 2013. I was skeptical at first, but I was just so hungry. I was really happy to get to eat over 1200 cals and was glad that science seemed to back that up. I figured if what I had been doing wasn’t working (and it wasn’t), what did I have to lose with trying this method?
As I’m a non-working housewife who tends to play a lot of video games and didn’t exercise much, I had estimated that I didn’t do much all day. I worked out my TDEE to be 1900 cals or so, and my BMR around 1500. Based off of that I was eating at about 1560 cals a day. It wasn’t until I acquired my Fitbit Charge this year that I found of my TDEE was actually between 2300 and up to 2800 cals a day (depending on how many errands I had to do). If I thought 1560 was ok to eat at, I was ecstatic to be able to eat at over 2k cals a day and even more when it actually WORKED.
How did others around you act about your decision to discard the usual low cal methods for weight loss?
Honestly? My husband thought I was just finding an excuse to not stick to my goals. He was tired of me complaining about my weight. He told me “do something about it, or stop complaining”. He said it didn’t matter to him what I did, but that I wasn’t allowed to complain about it while I was doing nothing to change it. So when I said I was going to eat more after I had been working on eating less, there was some eyebrow raising. When I tried to explain it to people, they didn’t seem to follow. They’d regurgitate something about “eating clean” or that I needed to go running at least once if not twice a week for results. Eventually, I just stopped saying anything and quietly stuck to my goals.
After my progress though, I’m willing to fight tooth and nail and shout from the roof tops that I eat more without any extreme measures.
How did your body react to the initial increase in cals?
During the metabolism reset, I lost 5lbs. I know it isn’t typical, but I was really happy. The only problem was it set a high precedent for me and the first time I attempted the EM2WL method and when I actually lowered my cals more and it didn’t seem to move much. I got disheartened rather quickly.
I know now with the help of my Fitbit that my “reset” was probably actually closer to a TDEE -15% goal as I had poorly estimated my TDEE. That would explain why things slowed down when I cut that by another 15%. I could honestly probably use another bit of a reset (a real one this time ;) ) as I have been eating at a deficit for a while now.
Heather is shrinking!
Did your family notice or comment on any changes once you upped your calories for a period of time?
At some point during my first attempted run through EM2WL I was back in Texas visiting my family for 2 months. I was eating everything. There were so many foods I missed, like tacos! My mom would get on my case and tell me I was overdoing it. That I was going to lose all my progress I had made because I was eating too much. I had days where I went over, but I was generally mindful. I was having a hard time making her understand that my progress was actually due to eating more. Her and my dad rolled their eyes at me, they were not convinced. They see my progress, but just say things like “That won’t work for me”.
I know first hand that the weight loss industry has a lot of people convinced that deprivation is part of losing weight. I hope to keep showing that one doesn’t have to deprive themselves nor run themselves ragged to reach their goals. That weight is just a number on a scale and focus needs to be more on fat loss than weight loss. In time, I hope to change more minds.
Can you describe your typical workout schedule prior to EM2WL and today?
Prior to EM2WL when I was actively working on trying to lose weight, I was doing my usual walking that I do from not owning a car. I now know it is quite a bit (I have no issues getting 10k steps on a normal day and sometimes have over 20k). I was also going to run 3 miles once or twice a week with a friend. I combined that with cardio workouts from Your Shape Fitness Fitness Evolved 2012 (an xbox kinect exercise game) and did that 3 to 4 times a week.
In January this year when I resolved to follow EM2WL more closely, I decided to focus more on strength training. I grabbed myself some starting dumbbells (2 x 3 kg/6.6lbs, knowing I had to carry them home on foot lol) and picked back up Your Shape Fitness Evolved 2012. I’d start with general warm up type exercises (hula hooping, arm circles, squats etc) and then go for a full body strength routine that lasted about 13-16 minutes. That routine included things like bicep combo lunges, sumo squats and the like. I’d finish up with a 13 minute yoga routine to help with muscle soreness (and the days I didn’t, I regretted it!) with some more cool down stretches after. I did that twice a week on top of my daily errand walks (10k steps+ a day). Honestly, it was really easy. It made for about an hour of workout a week, not a lot at all!
However, by the end of April I had to give up the strength training as my hernia had gotten pretty bad again. So progress has slowed a bit, but I’m trying to be better about my food in general at least. I hope to get this hernia addressed again (with a mesh instead this time) so that I can work on strength training again as the results were so much more pronounced and I really enjoyed it. It didn’t even take a lot to make a difference!
by | Aug 11, 2015 | Consistency, Metabolism Reset, Strength Training, Testimonials, The Journey
I started my journey almost 2 years ago with a metabolism reset. I’ll try to be as brief as possible with my past, I went to a diet center and did a VERY low calorie (500/day along with taking 3, yes three, diet pills a day) high protein diet for approx. 8 months. When I reached my goal weight, I couldn’t
afford to continue to pay for the maintenance portion of the diet, so 1.5 yrs later I gained it all back and then some. Then, I started a very low calorie diet (on my own) and it took me 1.5 yrs to lose 20 lbs. I was frustrated. My hair was thinning, I was grouchy all the time, couldn’t sleep, my fingernails were paper thin. I was working myself to death and I wasn’t losing weight or inches. That’s when I found EM2WL group on MFP. As I started reading the stickies, it was like I was reading my autobiography! I attempted to do a reset…however, patience (or lack thereof) became an issue and I gave up and went back to a 1200/cal/day diet. After seeing no change yet again…I bit the bullet and seriously did a reset. The only thing I would change about that, is the way I upped my calories. I jumped in gung ho and immediately gained 19 lbs in 2.5 mos time. That was very upsetting to me, but I kept at it. After following Anitra, Lucia and Kiki, I “found” Cathe Friedrich, and I was hooked on lifting!
On New Year’s Eve, my husband, myself and our boys were invited to join friends on a vacation to the Florida Keys. That was the incentive I needed to get real with my diet and exercise. I started my cut on 1/1/15 and did Cathe’s Muscle Max for 6 weeks. Not long after I started Muscle Max, I purchased the EM2WL Beginner Strength Training Program e-book and it was one of the best purchases I’ve made! I timed it so that I would finish the program about 2 weeks before we were to leave for vacation. Giving myself a cushion for “life” to happen and possibly delay me. I finished 1.5 weeks before we left.
On the surface, I only lost 11 lbs and 10.5 inches. I say “only” because the REAL change was internal/emotional/mental. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m VERY pleased with my results so far! The biggest “gain” I’ve made is mentally. I’ve learned patience, patience, patience! I knew going into this that the scale is a big fat liar when you are doing this the EM2WL way. I weighed myself just out of curiosity, not expecting to see dramatic changes in the numbers. Because when you lift heavy, you retain water, which results in the scale going in the wrong direction. Take it from me…the scale is irrelevant!
The feeling I got from lifting and the gains I made with my strength, are priceless. It’s hard to explain the mental gains I’ve made. The best way I can describe it is I realized this change was happening from the inside out. I came of the mindset that people can’t see the changes from the outside….that comes closer to the end. I have a confidence that I’ve never had before. You can’t see it by looking straight at me, but when I look down from my shoulder down my arms, there’s cut/definition!!! I see my legs starting to take on a shape that I’ve only dreamed about.
There’s no doubt in my mind that had I not conditioned myself the way I did, I would NEVER have been able to reel the fish in, balance myself, and endure a minimum of 8 hrs offshore fishing on our vacation. Let me tell you, those fish put up a fight! 
Before we left, I tried on a bathing suit that I’ve had for years…and it didn’t fit right. I was devastated! I turned to Anitra to “talk me off the ledge” of complete devastation. Anitra told me that I shouldn’t judge/base my progress on old clothes. She said that my body is taking on new shape, and clothes that used to fit (smaller ones) probably won’t fit again regardless of the size. She told me not to get discouraged, this is a part of the process. She told me to go out and find something that I’m comfortable in now, that’s the important thing. So, I decided to wear bike shorts and a sports bra under a tank top!
Now, I’m back from vacation and moving on to the next phase of my lifting. I’m going to do Cathe’s Gym Style Series for 6 weeks and then her Slow and Heavy for a few weeks preparing myself for the STS Series on October 1st. All of my workouts have been done at home. No gym membership. It’s nothing fancy, by any means, but it’s mine!
People, this lifestyle is so very, very doable! I’ve made this progress eating between 1900-2200 calories a day! This is the best/smartest way to live your life. I’m never starving, like I was the whole time I was doing the low cal thing. If I want slice of cake, bowl of ice cream, a glass of wine…I have it! Everything in moderation. If you slip up, no worries…just get right back at it the next day! Every day is a new day! I am nowhere close to the end of this journey. My changes are 98% mental, and that doesn’t show in a picture. I have so much to learn and I’m beyond excited to see what the future holds for me! I can promise this…it will forever involve Eating More 2 Weigh Less!!!
Look at the changes through her mid-section! And this after increasing her intake from 1,200 to 1,900 – 2,200 calories a day and implementing strength training!
by Trish Adams | May 21, 2015 | Binge Eating, Interviews/Guest Posts, Testimonials, The Journey
EM2WL: How long have you been on this journey?
Mandie: I remember joining weight watchers during the summer between 5th and 6th grade. I always “wanted” to be healthy and fit. I honestly never knew how to accomplish that goal without severe restriction. I have been on this journey my entire life, the struggle has been very real.
How long have I been on the journey of eating more and moving more? I started that journey a few years ago. I was very unsure if it would really work. I approached it like any other diet at first because I honestly didn’t expect much to happen from it. Well, I guess I expected to lose a little weight and then gain a little weight because that seemed to be my life long pattern.
E: When did you first learn that you needed to eat more to reach your goals? What was your original response?
M: A couple of years ago I was going to a local gym where I was being taught to cardio my body into debilitation. I was participating in 30 day smoothie challenges, burpee challenges, plank challenges. I was working my body into injury and pain. The gym, of course, followed this type of pattern in their nutritional advice, (out of their scope of practice) so I was going on very few calories. I lost a little weight, but this formula for destruction wasn’t anything that I could do long term. It was still the restrict-binge cycle that I had always known. I was getting hurt constantly. I knew very little about how this all worked at the time. All I knew was eat as little as possible and move as much as I could. After an injury that put me out of the gym I started researching. I was tired. I was in pain. I was hungry. I wanted something more for my life. I started doing some research on how to rehab my injury. I started looking into how the body worked and studying how this magical thing called weight loss happens.
What I found blew my mind. I discovered this amazing thing called a total daily energy expenditure
(TDEE). This was the amount of calories I burned in a day (I had never really considered how many I burned in a day). I was eating around 1100 calories but was burning around 2500-3000 calories per day. I discovered that if I was in a coma the doctors would feed my around 1600 calories through a feeding tube.
THIS blew my mind! How could I call myself healthy if I was eating less during my very busy life than a doctor would feed me in a coma. I, like most people, have been lied to by our culture that a woman eating anything over 1500 calories would gain weight at a rapid pace. Women believe this lie because we “think” we see this happening but what we really see is a perpetual cycle of starve-binge. We go on this crazy diets of 1200 calories and lose some weight, but somewhere along the way our bodies kick into survival mode and we start eating. We eat large amounts of calories trying to make up for our starvation time. We end up gaining our weight back and giving up… until we look in the mirror and decide we hate ourselves again and start the cycle all over.
I decided to start trying to eat more consistent calories. I started this while trying to rehab a back injury so my start was scary. I gained approx. 13 lbs.. I was not able to do much moving at the time. I look back and giggle because basically I was just “eating more”. I backed off after several months and just ate at my TDEE for a very long time. I have to say though, allowing myself to just eat without the guilt and shame that I usually felt was a welcomed break. Along the way my back finally allowed me to start in on the weights and that is when great things started happening. I finally saw the promised land. I KNEW this was going to work. I KNEW I could do this forever. Eat. Lift. Repeat. YES PLEASE!
Somewhere during the process I also stopped looking at my body as “how small can I get” and I
started thinking “how awesome can I become in my performance”. I can not express how much that small mental switch has altered my life for the better.
E: How did others around you act about your decision to discard the usual low cal methods for weight loss?
M: I am actually laughing as I read this question. Everybody thought I was insane. I was told “you can’t have your cake and eat it too”. To that comment I now say.. “Actually I can”..
E: How did your body react to the initial increase in cals?
M: For women in our society we are taught to be hungry. We are taught it is a virtue to allow yourself starvation. I was no different. I had been on diets my entire life along with binge eating issues. I had been diagnosed in 2005 with anorexia. I had been on the pendulum of torture FOREVER. My body welcomed the break. I found it interesting that all it took was a shift in my mental status for me to be able to eat. I gained the approx. 13 lbs. before I decided to track and eat at my TDEE. My goal was obviously not to gain weight.
E: Did your family notice or comment on any changes once you upped your calories for a period of time?
M: My husband was my biggest supporter. I think if my body had never changed he would have still
kept encouraging this lifestyle for me. Mentally I was at the best place I had ever been. Learning to accept myself enough to allow food in my life, even though I wasn’t at our cultures deemed size. That is a victory for most women. He loved my new found confidence and self worth. There were a few time that I would question myself and he would state very passionately to me “Eat The Food. Lift The Things.” <swoon>
He’s pretty great.
E: Can you describe your typical workout schedule prior to you learning to nourish your body and today?
M: I am laughing again. Oh the torture. I always believed that working out was suppose to be painful. I had that crazy belief that throwing up meant something good. I have done many different workout schedules but they were always inconsistent. I remember several times starting off on my bike for a good ride and having to turn around and come home because I was dizzy. I thought that was normal. I should have just grabbed a snickers.
I also remember the lowest point for me was around the time I was diagnosed with anorexia, I had made a decision to not workout because it caused me to get hungry. This makes me so sad now.
My workout schedule ran with how many calories I was allowing in my body because that determined if I got dizzy or blacked out. I didn’t want to eat enough to get through a full workout.. That would make me fat or fatter, depending on what season of life it was.
E: As a busy mom of 5, how do you manage to stay on track with your nutrition and fitness? Any tips you can share with our followers?
M: Put yourself on the list. I wake up in the mornings and mentally go over my day, it is my informal to-do list. I make sure I am on that list. When I go buy groceries I no longer just ask my kids and husband what they would like. I buy the things I love to eat too. I put it in the budget. I am now worth being in our grocery budget. Crazy thing happened when I started buying healthier food. My kids started eating it.
I talk to a lot of moms who don’t have time for fitness or nutrition, or so they say. People think I am
crazy (or horrible) when I ask them “what if your child only did 2 activities instead of 4.” So that they can have a mother who gets to workout and focus a little time on her. There really is only so much time in a day and it is up to us to organize our lives in such a way that we are on the list of things to do for our families.
I do not think mothers see how important their own health is to their family. We are teaching our
children how to eat, how to move and how to treat themselves by our actions. When I realized that… it was huge to me.
E: What is the best way for our the EM2WL fam to get in touch or follow your journey ?
M: I usually hang out in my little community on Facebook called Women Are Hungry. Like most people I love to put my food and sweaty workout pictures up on Instagram so you will find me there as well. I love talking to to women about all things fitness, body image and habit changes so please feel free to hit me up!
I talk to so many women who are afraid to eat. I think when women realize that eating consistent
calories is so much better than the diet cycle:
Day 1. fat and I need to lose weight
Day 2. I will eat only 1100 calories.
Day 3. I am awesome.
Day 4. I am hungry but will make it.
Day 5. I will just eat a little extra today
Day 6. WHERE IS THE FOOD.
Day 7. Eat ALL the food. Screw it.
The thing I find the most insane about this journey is that I haven’t gained any weight in over a year. I have spent my life gaining weight ( and losing and gaining and losing). I feel in control. I spent many years thinking weight loss was magic. It isn’t magic it’s science. I still have fat to shed and muscle to gain, but the great part about that is I know how to do it. I am no longer
on a time frame with my fitness and nutrition. It is just what I do. I no longer have an end
date. I don’t have a perfect body. I don’t have 12% body fat, however my imperfect body is
exactly where I want it to be right now.
Slow and steady is where long term success happens.
by EM2WL | Apr 28, 2015 | The Journey
A recurring feature on EM2WL is called “The Journey.” We strive to stress the importance of staying consistent, trusting the process, and making EM2WL a lifestyle. In featured “Journey’” stories, we get an inside look at how each person will make the process work for them, as well as demonstrating how this process looks from fresh angles. Journey participants agree to keeping us updated periodically, first sharing their story, then updating as their journey progresses…
My story is not much different than anyone else’s story. I have always battled with my weight. I learned as a teenager, that cutting back on calories and eating a lot less seemed to make the weight just melt off in time for graduation. What a great idea! I fluctuated around the same weight (mid 130’s) all through high school and was very active in sports. The weight slowly crept on and even though I spent much of my university days playing various sports and staying active, it wasn’t until I lifted with an ex-powerlifter that I was introduced to lifting heavy at age 20. We lifted together for about three months. He always came with a plan, and I just did what I was told to do. It worked. I made huge strength gains and worked my way to doing a full pull-up by myself! However, that ended abruptly as I watched the scale continue to go up and up. This resulted in panic and I ended those workouts because I didn’t like seeing the scale increase. Little did I know that I was probably in the best possible place I could be at that time, and that over 20 years later, I’d be back at the weights again!
Throughout the last couple of decades, I have done everything humanly possible to drop the number on the scale. I bought a gym membership and attended group fitness classes because they were fun and I didn’t have to think about what to do in the weight room. I did muscle sculpting classes because I really enjoyed lifting weights, and stepped, stepped, stepped in step aerobics. I ended up becoming certified as an aerobics instructor and taught classes for a number of years. However, throughout all those years, I still wasn’t skinny enough or lean enough and felt like a bit of a fraud teaching classes when I wasn’t as cut as some of the other instructors.
For diets, I’ve tried many… I used Nutri-System for a couple of months, but the program was expensive and although I quickly dropped 8lbs, the food was too horrid and the diet was too strict for me to follow past two months. The weight crept back on plus a bit more. Before I was married, I decided to try Weight Watchers. It worked, I dropped 28 lbs and looked great in my wedding dress, but the meetings were not for me, and weighing in front of others and feeling judged every week, just made me feel awful. I would even try to make sure that I went to the bathroom before weighing in and find lighter and smaller clothes just to make sure I didn’t log a gain on the scale!! That is some insanely disordered thinking which I developed!
After two pregnancies, I decided to try running to get rid of the weight. I made it a goal to try and run my first 5k race and was able to do it without any issues. So, then I set my goal for a 10k race, then a half marathon. I was slower than molasses, but am happy to say that I have completed two half marathons and have the medals to prove it. Was very proud of myself, yet still didn’t have that amazing runner body that I was looking for.
I had resigned myself that I would have to starve in order to look the way I wanted to look. I was eating 1600 calories a day during this time of running and still couldn’t lose a single pound. Little did I know that I was likely forcing my body to hold on to the weight because I wasn’t fueling properly!! I dropped my calories down to 1400 calories, but was really exhausted and my running stalled. I logged a 1.5lb loss and so I thought I had found the magic number to use. I was using a Bodymedia Fit at the time, but didn’t believe that I was burning 2500-2900 calories in a day because if I was, why wasn’t I losing weight??? Maybe I was just an oddball whose body was unable to use the extra calories. I just didn’t have the energy to push myself and it got to the point where running was a chore and no longer enjoyable.
It was at this point of frustration that I found Eat More 2 Weigh Less on MyFitnessPal. I read those pinned notes that Kiki wrote in awe. Really? I didn’t need to starve myself? I had to heal my metabolism and reset? I had a lot of questions and read the threads over and over. I finally worked up enough guts to begin posting and began to understand what was happening in my body. So, I tried bumping up my calories again to 1600, then 1800. I bought New Rules of Lifting and read it cover to cover. I googled Stronglifts and chose to begin that program because I loved the idea of making gains slowly but surely. I gave up my running and decided to focus on lifting. I made some great gains for about 15 months just following Stronglifts, but it became really difficult when I maxed out on my lifts and could no longer make gains. I started to get bored and was not sure what to do next.
At this point, my husband and I went on a trip with our friends to Las Vegas. I was lifting heavy, and still eating around 1800, but had sort of given up on myself. I didn’t know where to turn and how to improve my habits. I knew I didn’t want to eat any less, but the scale wasn’t moving and the lifting wasn’t working for me. On this trip, I hit an all time low. I was at my all time heaviest and just was not able to enjoy the trip because I was so focused on my size. At one point, all of our friends were heading down to the pool and we were supposed to meet them there, but the thought of appearing in public in my bathing suit was horrifying. I had a bit of an emotional breakdown and told my husband that I needed to go and workout because I had to do something to make myself feel better. I went to the gym and lifted hard and heavy. I went back to my room and broke down at the thought of putting on my swimsuit.
I will never forget how awful I felt, so I reached out for help. I will never forget the amazing words of comfort and encouragement that I received from Kiki. She shook me back to reality and so because of her I was able to march down and enjoy the rest of my holiday knowing that we would create a plan for me when I got home so I could focus on some goals and get myself on the road to being a normal human being.
The most embarrassing thing I had to do to begin the process was take pictures of myself. It was humiliating. I did not want to do it, but I knew I had to know where I started to see any progress. So, I sucked it up and sent them away. I then spent the entire year working out and eating more. I learned that I needed to focus on more protein in my diet. Previously, I was lucky to even get 50g in a day. Now, I am taking in at least 150g/day. That was the only change in my eating that I have made other than increasing my calories to about 2200-2400 calories per day. I have been doing weight workouts 3-4 times per week and tried to increase my NEAT every day. I have been faithful to my workouts and have tried pushing my workouts to consistently make gains in strength. I was able to push through my old maximum lifts (Stronglifts) and create new PR’s. But, these changes pale to what has changed mentally for me.
My husband and I just came back from a trip to Mexico with the same friends we traveled with last year. It was amazing. It was the best time we’ve ever had together for me because I was able to get out of my own way. How I felt about myself before actually held me back from doing a lot of things because I didn’t want to be judged. I also was so embarrassed about how I looked that sometimes I pushed my husband away. It was no way to live. Punishing myself was one thing, but punishing the person who cared about me most was another.
Another huge motivation for me were my kids. I did a lot of reading and realized that how I would talk about my body was not the way I wanted my kids to talk about their bodies, especially my daughter. So, slowly, I made a conscious attempt at not beating myself up in the mirror especially in front of her. I began to look for things that did look nice, rather than picking apart my belly, or my rolls, I focused on positives like the little deltoids and triceps that began to peak out. Together we celebrate new muscles that are appearing or how my lifting is going. Often, returning from the gym, the first question I am asked is, “How was your workout, mommy? How much did you lift today?”
Looking back at last year and this year, I’m in a completely different mindset. I know I have worked hard. I have eaten my protein pretty consistently and stopped the anxiety about when I’m going to be skinny. I used to say to myself, “It’s been 4 months, I am not remotely skinny. It’s not working.” But, I’ve learned that my body will do what it wants to do when it wants to do it. I cannot rush the process, but just go along for the ride. I know I am stronger, and I know I have more muscle, but the darn fat is slow to go. Unlike quick weight loss where the changes appear quickly on the scale, but do not last, slow and steady loss will require commitment even when the usual tools to measure progress are not working. I go to do my workouts not to get skinny, but because I know that it will help me get where I want to be. I have bought new clothes because my body has changed and I don’t worry about the size I’m buying because I look better in clothes that fit me. After all, no one sees the size or cares if it is a 10 because if it looks awful, it looks awful!
I have learned to be kind to myself. I know what to do to keep myself from slipping into the negative thoughts. So, on this last vacation, we had fun because I ate the seafood and the desserts, I drank the water, I kept moving and enjoyed myself. I took in the sun, and allowed myself to try some fun things. I tried the pole dancing lessons, water aerobics with the activity crew, and my husband and I went kayaking on the ocean a couple of times. It was wonderful!! I realize finally how lucky I am to be where I am. I thought that I would not be happy until I reached my ultimate goal, but I realize now that I had it all wrong. I have to be happy with where I am so I WILL be able to reach my goals. And, although I’m far from where I want to be, I’m where I need to be.
This year of slugging it out has made me realize that nothing that is worth something comes easy and that quick results are not always lasting results. I want to be able to sustain my changes and knowing that I don’t have to starve myself to do it still amazes me. I weigh exactly the same weight as I did a year ago, which may seem ridiculous to some people. But I haven’t gained any weight and I know I look better because the proof is in the pictures. Most importantly, I have been able to dump an entire lifetime of negative thinking which makes me feel that there is nothing I will not accomplish if I stick to what I know how to do. I have made some changes physically without starving myself and I will continue to make changes because I know I can do it.
This mental shift is priceless and it makes me sad that I was so hard on myself all those years. I am able to admire others who are leaner, smaller or skinnier than myself because they are on their own journeys. I will no longer compare myself to someone else’s journey because we all have our burdens to bear. I know for the first time ever that I can sustain this way of life. For the first time, I’m truly happy, and I just want to thank the EM2WL family for all their support because without it, I would still be hiding and avoiding my own life.
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