by EM2WL | Jul 25, 2013 | Consistency, Fat Loss / Cutting, Motivation, Testimonials, The Journey, Transformations, Troubleshooting
Before the drama began – loving life
Well this has been a long time coming. I’ve been meaning to sit down and put all of what’s been happening with me for the last year, since my transformation story, on paper. So much has transpired I’m trying to decide exactly where I should begin.
Ok, I’ll start from July of last year, I went to Jamaica to celebrate my bff’s 40th and had an absolute blast! I was at the tail end of my metabolic reset, in which, I had only gained four pounds. I totally enjoyed all the fine delicacies and didn’t count a thing. I was on vacation, loving every minute of it and I vowed I would never ever ever diet on vacation again. I know I ate a surplus some days, the food was amazing and I was determined to try everything. I got back and had gained all of ZERO pounds. WHAT???? So back to Cathe STS Meso 3 and over the rest of the summer I was lifting heavy and eating at cut.
Nov. 2012 – Back to post baby weight & devastated
I noticed the end of September, my weight started creeping up slowly. Since I was lifting heavy and eating right, I tried not to become concerned. Well, my son transitioned to wearing a pump to manage his diabetes, and I didn’t have one full nights sleep for over three weeks. I had to get up every three hours to check his blood sugar. You talk about exhausted… 9pm, 12am, 3am, 6am every single night. By the top of November I had an extra 20lbs and I couldn’t believe how I’d gone from toned and svelte to thick and fatty. I just knew it had to be my thyroid, and though my numbers looked fine, I decided to switch from synthetic to a natural thyroid replacement pill. My numbers plummeted and though in cut mode the weight didn’t budge. I was back to my after baby weight and all the muscles I was so proud of, seemed to disappear into oblivion. You talk about devastated…
I felt everything people would write me about…frustrated, scared, anxious, and obsessed with that scale. I couldn’t understand how I went from nicely toned with just a wee bit of fat to shed, to a thick girl with layers of adipose tissue that seemed here stay! During the next few months the doctor and I worked on getting my thyroid level right. Though the temptation was there to slash calories drastically, I absolutely refused. I ate at a small deficit 10-15% and took off an extra 200 to account for the low thyroid. Lifting and cutting and still nothing moved much. Well the cutting business, wore on my nerves, so back to TDEE I went. I figured if I wasn’t losing or gaining at cut or TDEE then why not enjoy my food???
Fat starting to come off – noticing muscle gains (20lbs heavier)
So, I believe it was March or April, I’m still looking for answers since my thyroid numbers were now level. Goodness, though I’d shed a few pounds, I was stuck at 170lbishhhhhhh. During my hunt for some type of viable explanation, I found a Sweaty Betties vid, on adrenal fatigue. Things started to make sense. Severe stress, lack of sleep, growing older can all contribute to causing adrenal fatigue. Lord knows I was sleep deprived, and the start of the gain was when I was getting up all through the night….ahhhhh haaaaaaaa! Light bulb blew up…lol… I mean for weeks no sleep and I was absolutely stressed in general with family issues, plus the strain of my full time job and my 2nd job that I love, EM2WL. Well, I read and watched more vids and started the supplementation suggested, but, I was still having sleeping issues. I found that my free T3 was a bit too high so we backed down on the thyroid med a little bit.
Ok, so now I’m sleeping ok, thyroid numbers are good, I’m lifting heavy, I invested in the Body Media Fit (boy did I underestimate my numbers, but that’s for another blog, in time…lol), eating at small cut, starting to see some fat loss but still stuck in my big clothes. So, I decided to take some pictures and bam, I see some muscular maturity…more dense muscle than when I was at 154lbs. Yes still almost 20lbs heavier but I could see that all the gain wasn’t just lumpy fat, but that there was some nice growth that transpired unbeknownst to me. I got excited and then the brain starts saying over and over…”now it’s time to shed all the excess fat so you can start wearing some of your smaller stuff…aren’t you sick of wearing the same three jeans?” Oh my gosh, I then became obsessed about the numbers…YES!!! Exactly what I type a few times a day to others, NOT to do!
More mature muscle and v-taper development
After whining to the Kikster one day, I realized, I was causing myself unnecessary stress and I said that is it! No more scale…No more logging… and NEW CLOTHES BABY! Oh yes, the sausage queen went into retirement. I hit the outlets and bought nice fitting jeans. Matter of fact, I went all out and bought tops too, even though my top size didn’t change, hey, I went for the gusto. Feeling good again because a sausage I was not any longer…lol. My plan was to weigh in after a month, but now way over a month later, I have no desire to step on the scale. Listen, during my no scale or logging time..whew, I haven’t been stressed about a single number. And logging for over a year has taught me how to hit numbers,macros, blah blah. So no sweat there either.
lost 1/2 inch in waist…I’ll take it
What’s been happening since? All the jeans I bought are looser…tehehe. The ones I’m wearing today were a bit snug when I bought it. I could hear Kiki’s voice saying, ” Now the purpose of your shopping trip is to “desausage”…why are you going to buy those sausage makers?” LOL. I know I should have left them right there, but they were on too good of a sale. Oh so glad to report they fit smashingly today. Also, the break from all the tracking has allowed me to shift my focus to physical goals. I’ve always wanted to dead lift and squat my weight. My lift sessions have gone to another level. Not worrying about all the tracking keeps me nice and mellow. I also decided to stop dwelling and focusing on the negatives…I wish I looked like this, look at that lump, why can’t I see a striation here or there yet…blah, blah, and negative blah. Now, I congratulate myself on new feats tackled and I point out the positive changes I see in my friend, the mirror.
Ok, ok, ok, so I can’t tell you I’ve lost x,y, or z, BUT, I can tell you I’ve lost a half inch off my hips, waist, and thighs. I can say I surpassed my dead lift goal, met the squat goal, and I’m blowing past other personal records during my lift sessions. I can also see a nice progression which others have noticed too. I have also conquered the hardest part of the journey…the mental voyage. And lastly, I can say I’m enjoying the stress-free non-tracking lifestyle and appreciating every positive thought I now have about me:-)
by EM2WL | May 30, 2013 | Testimonials, Transformations
Today marks 365 days of logging into MFP. I haven’t missed a day so it was exactly 1 year ago that I decided enough was enough, got my a** into gear, and changed my life.
Let me back up a bit and explain what led me to that point (but feel free to skip to the pics)
I’ve struggled with weight all my life. About 7 years ago though, I was put on Phentermine and lost about 30 lbs. For one all too brief year, I enjoyed being skinny (I wasn’t in the least bit fit) but after I got married, I got lazy and gained all that weight, and a hell of a lot more of it back.
April 2012, I went to India for 3 weeks on a business trip. During the trip I met many amazing people. One of their favorite things to do was to take pictures, chuckle about how white I was compared to them (I’m Irish-Scottish, I can’t help it), then post the pictures up this side of Facebook and down the other. One night after work, I was back in my hotel room logged into Facebook, and I got an eyeful of just how viral these pictures went… I cried myself to sleep that night and a couple more nights following. Here are just a few of them…
After this, I cancelled my FB account so I wouldn’t be face to face with reality and went on with life.
I got home from India May 5th, 2012 but it took me until May 30th to find and get on MyFitnessPal. Once I did join though, I joined with my full heart. I am lucky enough to have an amazingly supportive husband who when I flipped our lives upside down in pursuit of a healthier life and weight loss, he just said “Okay, what can I do to help?”
I started out with the 1200 calories MFP allotted and lots and lots of cardio. Then I found the group Eat More 2 Weigh Less which had me doing just that. I figured out my TDEE, subtracted 15%-20% and got heavily into weightlifting, starting with the program in the book New Rules of Lifting for Women. After I finished that program, I moved on to Cathe Fredrich’s STS and am currently in the middle of my 2nd round. I absolutely love it and the results are freaking awesome.
I was also very fortunate to develop the best friends list on MFP. I freaking love you guys.
Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way that helped me succeed….
1. The scale is a dirty rotten liar and cannot be the only method of tracking progress. I learned to check and monitor progress by how my clothes feel, how I look in the mirror, pictures and measurements, and not just by the reading on the scale.
2. Setting and sticking to a rigid pound goal didn’t work for me. I originally set my goal to 120 lbs which, come to find out, isn’t what I want because to get there, I would either need to fall into the low teens in BF% or sacrifice lean mass (no thank you). Instead, I’ve focused on a goal BF% of between 18-20% which using the ideal body weight calculator on Fat2FitRadio.com, gave me a pound goal of 130. I started back in May of last year at around 35% Body Fat or more (I’m guesstimating). Today, I’m happy to report after getting my BF% tested in a BodPod, I’m at 20.9%. I’m so close I can taste it.
Here are how a few of my measurements changed:
Natural Waist = 36.5 to 26.5 (- 10 inches)
Thigh = 25.75 to 20.25 (- 5.5 inches)
Chest = 37 to 31 (- 6 inches)
Hips = 43.75 to 31.75 (- 12 inches)
Bicep = 13.5 to 11.25 (- 2.25 inches)
3. I don’t have to starve to lose weight. Thank god because I have a very VERY healthy appetite. I’m very grateful I found EM2WL only a few weeks after deciding to change my life.
Okay, enough blabbing. Here are my progress and NOW pics!
This first one is 25 lbs down…
This one is 36 lbs down, what I thought at the time was my ½ way mark…
This is a difference of 50 lbs… and the pic on the right is somewhere around 35% body fat, the pic on the left is 24.5% body fat…
This is 60 lbs lost…
These are a couple tummy comparison pic from about when I started to this past weekend.
And here are a few more now pics just for fun :)
I remember just starting out and spending a lot of time looking at others success stories. I hope this provides motivation for someone somewhere to not give up, to keep going, to get it done, like so many success stories did for me.
by EM2WL | Feb 12, 2013 | The Journey, Transformations
Guest Post, courtesy of Salina
I have stayed committed since Dec 2011, but logged into MFP everyday starting at the end of Jan 2012. It’s been a year and here’s what I’ve done:
Apps: MFP, FitnessBuddy (electronic log of weight lifting), hundredpushups, C25K, Zombies Run!
Programs: Eat More to Weigh Less (EM2WL), New Rules of Lifting for Abs (and for Women), Butt Bible, 30 Day Shred, P90X, Book – How to Eat What You Love and Love What You Eat (helped with emotional eating)
My personal rules:
- Make a choice and enjoy that choice guilt free.
- Choose things I can do for the rest of my life. That means unreasonable workouts, restricting food/starving myself, or cutting out entire food groups are all a no-go for me.
- Focus on being healthy, looking good is a positive side effect.
- Sleep and rest are as important as working hard and giving it my all.
Inspiration quotes:
- A year from now you will have wish you started today
- Strive for progress not perfection
- The only person you are in competition with is the you from yesterday
Inspirational people:
Advice:
- If you don’t feel like working out that day, go for 10 min. If you want to stop after 10 min, then give yourself permission with no guilt. (I’ve never once stopped after 10 min, although I have cut my workouts short to 40 min.)
- If you spend time feeling guilty about what you didn’t do, then you don’t get to enjoy what you are doing. How good does the cake taste if you are feeling guilty for eating it in the first place? How can you enjoy time for you while working out if you are feeling guilty about not spending time on the chores/hobby/family?
- Don’t starve yourself. You’ll be more successful in the long run if you do it a little slower and eat more food. Check out www.eatmore2weighless.com for information
- Find a workout program you like and change up your routine every 6-10 weeks – you’ll probably stick with it because you have an ‘end’ to look forward to and something new to try. Take a rest week between switching up your routine (or earlier if you feel exhausted/running on empty).
- Work hard at workouts that you enjoy and fuel your body properly, including eating from every food group.
- Don’t deprive yourself, rather find balance. I enjoy eating out with friends and family, I still drink alcohol, and I still make time for friends, family, and sleep.
- Don’t set your goals based on what the scale says–only you see that number. Everyone else sees how your clothes fit or how your muscles look. For me, meeting all of the other goals has been so much more rewarding than seeing a certain number on the lying scale that lies.
Here’s what I did:
| Time period |
Exercise |
Caloric intake |
Weight/Bodyfat |
Dress Size |
| May 2011-Aug 2011 |
C25K |
2500-3000 calories?? Didn’t track |
Start 193 lbs, end 183 lbs |
Size 12/14 |
| Sept 2011 – Dec 2011 |
Exercise restriction due to hernia (surgery #1 Oct 2011) |
3000+. Emotional eating, didn’t track |
197 lbs, 33% BF |
Size 14 |
| Dec 2011 – Feb 2012 |
Exercise restriction due to hernia (surgery #2 Jan 2012) |
1700-2200 cal/day, track with MFP |
182 lbs |
Size 12 |
| Feb 2012 – mid Mar 2012 |
Light cardio 2-3x week |
1700-2200 cal/day |
177 lbs |
Size 12 |
| Mid Mar 2012-early Apr 2012 |
30DS 2x/week, pilates 1x/week, medium intensity 20 min cardio 2x/week |
1700-2200 cal/day |
177 lbs |
Size 12 |
| Apr 2012 |
Butt Bible lower 2x/week, NROLFW Level 1 3x/week +HIIT cardio, pilates 1x/week |
2200 cal/day |
176 lbs |
Size 10 |
| 1st half May 2012 |
Exhaustion/sick, full rest on workouts for 2 weeks |
EM2WL: 2400 cal/day with no exercise |
175 lbs, 27% BF |
Size 10 |
| 2nd half May 2012 |
NROLFW + HIIT cardio 3x/week |
2500 cal/day |
175 lbs |
Size 10 |
| June 2012 – mid Aug 2012 |
NROLFW 2-3x/week, running 3 miles 2x/week, volleyball 1x/week |
2700-2800 cal/day |
172 lbs, 26% BF |
Size 8 (reached at 173 lbs at end of July) |
| 2nd half Aug 2012 |
Rest |
2600-2700 cal/day |
172 lbs |
Size 8 |
| Sept 2012 |
NROLFA 2-3x/week |
2600-2700 cal/day |
171 lbs – 175 lbs |
Size 6/8 |
| Oct 2012-Dec 2012 |
NROLFA 2x/week |
2600 cal/day |
169-174 lbs, 25% BF |
Size 4/6 |
I was always one of the lucky people – I was stick thin, could eat what I wanted when I wanted without any impact to my size or weight. I’m 5’11” and for most of my life I was a size 4 or smaller. I also grew up playing volleyball and staying active. Combine getting older, an office job in front of a computer, and having a baby and suddenly I didn’t look like this anymore (size 4, early 20s):
When I embarked on this journey in December 2011, I really had no idea what I wanted my goals to be, beyond ‘Weigh 165 lbs by Halloween’ which was the last time I remember being a size 8 and feeling great about the way I looked. Seeing myself in my sister in law’s wedding in September 2011 made me realize just where I was size wise:
I dealt with the death of my dad and two surgeries (with each having a 6 week exercise restriction period) in the last year. I am so proud of my progress thus far. I am looking forward to doing a Tough Mudder or Warrior Dash this year, as well as continuing to lift. Some before/after pics:
Holiday party 2011 in red, 2012 in black:
Front, back, side
Fitness changes:
| Weight |
197 lbs |
169 lbs (up to 174 lbs…it fluctuates) |
| Bodyfat |
33% |
25% |
| Dress Size |
14 |
4/6 |
| BMI |
27.5 |
23.7 |
| Resting HR |
85 bpm |
58 bpm |
| Distance run before walking |
½ mile |
3.5 miles |
| Push-ups |
3 on knees |
22 on toes, 70 with short breaks every 12-15 |
| Plank |
15 sec on my knees |
3 min on toes, with unsteady arms on bosu ball, unsteady/raised feet on exercise ball, or jack knives with exercise ball or 50 lb cable pulls while planking |
| Side plank |
10 sec on knees |
2+ min on toes with one arm or one leg raised. Also 50 lb cable pulls while planking. |
| Bench press |
16 lbs |
105 lbs |
| Lat pull down |
50 lbs |
140 lbs |
| Pull ups |
100 lbs assist |
36 lbs assist |
| Squat |
Body weight |
Body weight + 110 lbs |
| Deadlift |
40 lbs |
100 lbs |
by EM2WL | Jan 2, 2013 | Testimonials, Transformations
I was never one of those lucky ones who stayed thin without any effort. I have battled with my weight for as long as I can remember – always either being “on a diet” or totally out of control with my eating, at one point hitting an all-time high of 260 pounds ( a definite low point of my life…)
I have always been very successful at losing the weight, often losing 30, 40 or 50 pounds by eating at 1,200 calories a day or less, only to gain it all back plus more after hitting the inevitable plateau each and every time.
This time it had to be different. I was looking at turning 49, and had to find a way to make the weight loss “stick” this time. In November 2011, a friend introduced me to MFP, and once again, I began the 1,200 calorie a day diet. Over the course of about 5 months I lost 50 pounds, but then, just like every other time before, I hit that plateau. My natural reaction was to eat less and exercise more (which, as we all know, does not work…). The difference this time was my MFP friends. 
In the past, I would have gotten discouraged and quit, but this time I had support of my friends. Some of them saw that I was eating less and less and adding more and more cardio workouts. Several times I posted about getting discouraged and stuck, and several of my friends directed me to the Eat More 2 Weigh Less way of life.
In May of 2012, I joined the original EM2WL group on MFP and read, and read, and read. It all made sense in my brain, but I was terrified to take the plunge and raise my calories. I was only 10 pounds from my goal weight of 150 and could not imagine gaining any weight back yet again. There was a desperate battle going on in my brain. What I really wanted was to get to my goal weight, and then up my calories and work on maintaining – unfortunately, my body would not cooperate. I was stuck.
Over the next month or so, I upped my calories from 1,000 to 1,800, and then finally to 2,000 calories a day. I made it through that process without gaining any weight, and in fact over the next few months, I was able to slowly get down to my goal weight of 150. Imagine that! I was actually able to lose weight while eating more and actually feeling full and satisfied every day. Everything that I had read was true – “Trust the process”, “Have patience”, “Give your body time to heal”… It was all true! I could Eat More and Weigh Less!!!
After joining the EM2WL group on MFP, I gathered some like-minded friends and saw that those that were really happy with their progress had implemented weight lifting into their exercise programs. I also noticed that most of them were younger than me – much younger… I was looking at turning 50 in a few months and questioned if I could begin strength training at 50 – especially heavy lifting. I knew I would not want to go to a gym at 4:00 each morning, so that workout would have to be done from home, and I had no home gym equipment except for my “dreadmill”. DVDs would have to be my answer.
Once again, Kiki and my MFP friends steered me in the right direction: Cathe Friedrich. I purchased other types of weight training DVDs, but something about Cathe “clicked” with me. There is nothing rushed about her lifting, and she concentrates on perfect form. Since I had never lifted anything much heavier than a bag of groceries in my life, this was the perfect introduction into the world of weight lifting for me. I took it slow and gradually built up my little home gym, starting with light dumbbells and a step to use as a bench, and adding heavier dumbbells and eventually a barbell as time went on.
I have to say that the weight training has given me the most surprising results and truly changed the shape of my body. Even while maintaining my weight, I have continued to get smaller and “tighter”. I have gone from wearing a size 8 or 10 to a consistent size 6 (and even the occasional 4…) I have a feeling of strength and power that I have never experienced in my life. Even with my 50th birthday staring me right in the face, I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. If you are thinking you are too old, trust me… you are not!!! Pick up something heavy – you will not regret it!
Thanks to Kiki and all of my EM2WL friends, I have found a way of living that I know I can maintain for the rest of my life because I am not hungry! I have given my metabolism time to heal, trusted the process, and am able to easily maintain my weight for the first time ever — and all while eating more than 2,000 calories a day.
If you are stuck on a plateau, terrified of gaining back everything you have worked so hard to lose, and dreading a lifetime of starvation and deprivation, please learn everything you can about this process. Read the forums, ask questions, gather like-minded friends and jump in! You have to have patience, but it is so worth it! I only wish I had the knowledge I have today about 40 years ago… Trust the process – it works!
Thanks Kiki – YOU ROCK! ~Anitra
Have an EM2WL transformation to share? Willing to let us tag along on your journey? We’d love to see it! Be featured on our Transformation/Journey page by submitting your story to Success@EM2WL.com
by EM2WL | Sep 21, 2012 | Testimonials, Transformations
I wasn’t always overweight. Believe it or not until I had my first child I weighed 104 pounds. After I had my son, I went thru postpartum depression. I didn’t know it at the time and my doctor certainly didn’t clue me in. I gained 50 pounds, it just seemed like I couldn’t stop eating. Fast forward about 10 years, the military sent us overseas. I spent 4 ½ years eating my way thru Europe. Overseas, no family, no support, my husband deployed leaving me in a place that seemed like it was always raining. I gained another 50+ pounds. I was unhappy, no.. I was down right miserable.
Once we got back to the states, I could not deny my problem anymore. I sat on the couch staring at my treadmill. My excuses ran out, not enough time, not enough energy, my work out equipment was in storage. All that came to a halt the day my household goods arrived. I was a stay at home military spouse, my kids were suddenly teenagers and didn’t need me like they did when they were little. I let that be my excuse for years. Time was up on all that, I made a doctors appointment with the intention of getting a gastric bypass. I qualified for it but the the thing I kept hearing was you will never learn how to eat right or lose the weight and keep it off if you go that route. I left the doctors mad as a hornet. What do you mean I couldn’t keep the weight off? Why was my doctor working against me? Those were my thoughts as I was driving home.
That evening I sat down and really thought about what it was that I really wanted. Did I just want to lose the weight? Did I want to go the easier route? Or did I want to not only lose weight but to learn how to be healthy? After much soul searching, I decided to go back to my doctors a few days later and discuss how to start to lose weight and how does one go about eating healthy. Well for me it started with Phentermine for about 2 months, I did lose the first 20 pounds that way. You see it took away my hunger, it took away all thoughts of eating. I would take a nice pill and not eat until 6 or 7 pm. I figured it out much later that I was barely eating 800 calories. Then after about 2 months, my magic pill quit working. Back to the doctor I ran and fast. His words were a wake up call. He told me” the rest is up to you”. I had to do the rest COLD TURKEY, no way!!!
I figured I’d eat the same amount of calories that I was eating with the pill and the weight would still come sliding off right? WRONG, again. So off to the internet to figure this whole eating thing out I went. I tried various diets but never once felt myself. 
I tried Atkins, South Beach, the eat 800 calorie diet. I tried so many crazy diets. I would lose a few pounds here and there, but it seemed I was always hungry. After coming off those diets, I would almost always gain the weight back. I needed to start somewhere all over. I needed to get my weight off this roller coaster ride. I started walking, eating 1200 calories, I have to admit that the weight really started to fall off when I combined the two. It seemed the advice everyone was giving was right.. an epiphany.. the key to weight loss was a healthy diet and exercise. Could it really be that simple? Yup that worked until it didn’t any longer. I kicked my exercise way up and my foods way down. I was exercising 2-3 hours a day everyday and only eating 1200 calories a day. I was STARVING, raving hungry 24/7. I was doing everything I thought was right but wasn’t losing, my weight loss came to a screeching halt. I researched, I asked for advice, I did everything my nutritionist said to do, and nothing.
I was out of luck, completely frustrated and ready to just give in again to the food issues. I was searching for advice, looking for that one shred of advice that So happened to be surfing the MFP community, I ran across the EM2WL group. Everything I read made perfect sense. I gradually upped my calorie intake. 
I got scared spitless the first time I ate over 1600 calories in a day. I was so very afraid that I’d gain, but amazingly after about a week or two, I lost 2 pounds. I’ve lost weight every week since I’ve increased my calories. I can safely eat 1800 calories and not worry about gaining. I am within 6 pounds of my goal weight. All my numbers are positive. For the first time in almost 17 years, I am at a normal BMI, my body fat percentage is within normal range, and for ONCE, I am NOT starving. I couldn’t have done this right without EM2WL. I took the last 20 pounds off with advice from this group. I am proud of my body, proud of what I’ve done. Thanks to EM2WL! I’m eating healthy, eating foods that are right for me and not feeling the hunger so bad, I’d down a half a chocolate cake. Those days are past and here I am now 126 pounds!
Have an EM2WL transformation to share? Willing to let us tag along on your journey? We’d love to see it! Be featured on our Transformation/Journey page by submitting your story to Success@EM2WL.com
by EM2WL | Aug 15, 2012 | Testimonials, The Journey, Transformations
I reached a big goal yesterday and now it’s time to pay it forward! My weight loss journey began this past January, 5 months after my daughter was born. The pounds didn’t “melt off” as promised from breastfeeding alone and I was unhappily stuck 40 pounds overweight. In the past, I had done quick bouts of the South Beach diet or Jillian Michaels 30 day shred to lose 10 pounds or so before summer vacation or my wedding. I know there are many people out there with more to lose, but 40 was a daunting number to me and there were many, many days I thought I would never feel right in my skin again. It affected my life by ripping at my self esteem on a daily basis. I was jealous of my thinner friends and tortured my husband by constantly fretting over the way a t shirt fit. On January 1st, I set two goals for myself; By my 30th birthday in May, I would be at my pre-pregnancy weight and by my daughter’s 1st birthday in August I would be at my wedding weight.
I started by getting back on the South Beach wagon and starting the c25k running program. This was a dangerous cocktail. I hate running, but I believed along with everyone else that it was the golden ticket to weight loss. Combine that with removing sugars completely from my diet and you have one cranky lady on your hands. A personal trainer friend of mine suggested cutting down to 1200 calories a day instead of just eliminating foods. It was “healthier” she said. HA! I managed to stay at 1200 for months, patting myself on the back for all the brilliant ways I could manage to stay under. And yes, I lost weight doing this. When I pouted my way through a 5K in March, I had lost nearly 15 lbs. I never experienced any of the health based side effects of a very low calorie diet, but I was constantly frustrated. I was annoyed that I had to omit healthy & delicious avocado from my sandwich. I was irritated that if I wanted to enjoy a glass of wine I had to skip dinner. I felt ridiculous looking up food calories under the table at friends houses. And – Lord have mercy! – If I had a “cheat” day, (oh joy, 1500 calories instead) I would beat myself up over it for days. Once I hit that inevitable plateau, my frustrations only magnified. All of this sacrifice was for nothing, why even try?! 4 weeks into the plateau, the same PT friend suggested I join MFP to log my 1200 and get back on track. That was in April and I became hooked.
Lucky for me I meet a fabulous pal right off the bat who was also losing baby weight but was miraculously eating 1800+ calories a day and looking great! She directed me to the em2wl group and I spent the month of April lurking, researching and re-reading the stickies over and over again. It made sense, but it was scary. I upped my calories to my BMR the first 2 weeks of May and – GASP – didn’t gain a million pounds. I moved up to my TDEE cut in mid-may just in time for a vacation. I could eat and enjoy myself again – it was so freeing! I lost a few pounds initially and then bounced around while I figured out my sweet spot. I did reach my first goal of getting to my pre-pregnancy weight before my birthday during this time.
Calories conquered, it was now time to show the scale who was boss. I rewrote my second goal. Instead of focusing on the phantom weight I was when I was skinny fat and had never birthed a human being, I focused on simply fitting in the wedding dress, at whatever weight that happened to be now. I ditched the scale and picked up some heavy weights and got to work. I didn’t pay attention to the scale, I just worked out, logged my 1800 calories and focused on getting as close to my macros as possible. Two months later I was down 6 lbs and 8+ inches all over. That takes this journey to present day.
Yesterday, a week ahead of schedule and 10 POUNDS heavier than when I got married, I zipped into my wedding dress and did a victory lap around my living room! My body is different from when I first wore it – my hips are slimmer but my shoulders are broader. There is still work to be done but I am happy to say that I reached my goal and em2wl was an invaluable resource. I have learned so much about what my body – and mind – needs to be happy & healthy. The science is there, you only need faith in yourself that your goals are achievable, and you must be sure to set the RIGHT goals! And when faith failed me, I had a community of like-minded individuals that could give advice and encouragement. Without them, I would have given up a hundred times. I now want to work towards the body I’ve always dreamed of by focusing on healthy, performance based goals and letting go of what the scale tells me. Thank you to Kiki and Lucia and EVERYONE who shared their stories. And a special thanks to Jennie T. who put me on the path to begin with!
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