Emma’s Journey to Success

Emma’s Journey to Success

I’ve always been on a diet. I’m sure that’s not quite the case but I can’t remember NOT thinking about food in terms of “fat vs skinny” and “bad vs good.” When I was probably around 10 my mom and I went on The Beet and Ice Cream Diet. Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. For the record, it hasjourney to success taken about 25 years for me to eat another beet… I also recall that around this time I was actually being paid to lose weight, and I was absolutely thrilled when I got the flu. All this before the age of 12, and that set me up nicely for high school years marked by food anxiety, laxative abuse, binging and purging, cardio sessions that were literally hours long at a time, and most significantly, an extended bout with anorexia in which at the last weigh-in I remember I was 102 on my 5’9’’ frame. (I definitely want to say that eating disorders are never about food per se – there are underlying issues generally centering around feelings of control – but a childhood fraught with food anxieties can create an environment quite conducive to using eating disorders as an outlet for working through those issues.)

Fast forward a bit and I finally had a relatively normal relationship with food. I was a healthy weight (about 135 – 145, I never owned a scale) and ate like a “normal” person: I ate when I was hungry, I ate healthily but indulged when I wanted, and I ran and did yoga when time permitted because it felt good to move. I felt I looked ok but was never happy with the way I looked. And I even made peace with that. I felt with my ED background I was probably never going to have a good sense of what I looked like and regardless, I was probably never going to be happy about it. Uplifting huh? Resigning oneself to a lifetime of meh?

2Fast forward a bit more and a more sedentary, office-sitting lifestyle meant I gained a few more pounds. I couldn’t even say what my weight was but I’m going to guess between 155 and 165. I decided to get fit. Bring on the cardio! I began running and doing Insanity, counting calories, the whole deal. I even threw some weight training in there, but I was not lifting heavy enough nor was I eating to support any sort of positive muscle gains. With cardio of 1 hour plus daily (with long runs of 2 hours or so once a week), calories down to between 1500 and 1700 (with a once per week cheat of 1900 – 2000, I’m shaking my head typing this), and carbs shunned like the devil, I got down to 149. For a nanosecond. It was great to see that “14” at the beginning of my scale number. And guess what. I still didn’t like how I looked, I felt like I was moving through mud every day, it didn’t last. The weight just seemed to start piling back on. Restricting or not, running or not, nothing seemed to slow down the weight gain.

At this point I started doing some research and decided that ok, scale weight, who cares. I just want to look good and feel better. I discovered the New Rules of Lifting for Women and began lifting heavy and eating at what I thought would be maintenance. The scale was not kind but I felt like I had no choice; nothing else was working so at least I was putting on some muscle. Around this time I also found EM2WL, and Kiki, Lucia, and Anitra really helped me confirm that I was on the right path and I officially undertook a reset.

The reset was kind of awful, not gonna lie. I felt like a big bag of squishy water. Very sausage-esque, and oh it was summer by the way. I tried to concentrate on the fact that my lifts were going up, I was seeing some muscle pop through on rare occasion J, and that I was getting healthier. I stuck through the reset for the 12 weeks, not counting my NROLFW start, and then moved to the cut phase. My start-of-cut weigh-in in September 2013 was 172, but truthfully I may have gotten higher during reset – I stayed off the scale completely during the 12 weeks because I knew it would be a huge deterrent. The reason I am guessing the scale was higher at some point is because my weight (judged from pictures and clothes) seemed to level out and even drop a little bit towards the end of the reset. This, coupled with the fact that I realized I actually was not looking forward to cutting at all, told me I was ready to cut. Irony is a cruel mistress.

The scale was very slow to start moving on that first cut. Pretty much nothing happened until December after an initial 3 lb water weight drop over 2 slowweeks or so. Yes, 3 months of nothing happening! Then by 3/31/14 I was at 162. By 6/30/14, 158 and at 9/30/14, 157.8. The dreaded plateau. I had been taking breaks throughout but knew I was cutting for a long time; I decided to give it a little more of a chance and evaluate. Well, at 11/30/14 I was at 157.2 AND measurements weren’t going down so I said to hell with this. Maintenance break. I ate at maintenance until 1/18/15 and stayed the same weight. I even ate a little above during that time. Then I resumed a cut, taking 2 week long breaks during 2 months and found myself at 150.4. Yes, 7 lbs came off just like that, and that has never ever ever been the case for me.

That was about 3 weeks ago. I evaluate my progress on a monthly basis, so next week we’ll see what the data tells me. I’d like to drop a little bit more fat but you know what? I actually finally kind of like the way I look. I look way better than when I reached that cardio/low cal/low carb 149. Way better. I have muscle now. I’m definitely stronger and happier. Oh, and I can eat. I can maintain at almost 1000 calories more than those old days and while I am pretty active outside of work, I’m not a slave to the treadmill anymore. I lift, I run probably once per week, I spin, I yoga. I do whatever I feel like because it makes me feel good and because now my goals are skill-related (doing a pullup, hitting a bench PR, achieving that yoga pose), not because I have to reach a certain calorie burn.

So that’s my story. Here are some takeaways.

1. Reset sucks but it’s necessary. If you think you can skimp on it you are just setting yourself up for a more drawn out frustration.

2. The cut part is slow. It took a long time to get moving. (And the cut part sucks too, lol. When it does suck that’s when you know you are ready to cut.)

3. When it gets too slow after a while, don’t fight it. Take a break. Your body will win this one so might as well play along. That long break worked for me. I think with a tough plateau, a week or 2 weeks isn’t going to cut it. I’m thinking you need to break for much longer.

4. You must lift weights if you want to change how you look and support a healthier metabolism.

5. Not being focused on the scale but progress in the gym (faster run times, bigger lifts, accomplishing or working on certain bodyweight exercises) also helped me. It’s a mindset shift but once I managed to believe in it, I think the aesthetics are coming more naturally and with less stress.

6. Speaking of the scale, only pay attention to what it has to say IF you are also taking pictures, taking measurements, and using clothes to measure progress. By itself it is a glorified paperweight.

7. Working on controlling stress, or rather my reaction to it, has helped immensely.

 8. Did I mention lifting weights? Heavy weights?

journey to successHaving said that, I’m still a work in process. And I always will be, and not because I’m broken but because I will continue to grow. So far I’ve worked hard to free myself from The Beet and Ice Cream Diet mentality, and it feels good. I don’t have all the answers and many times need to take my own advice. I know me enough to know this will probably continue. I also know me enough to know that I will stumble. I will have setbacks. And I will have victories. I’m going to do my best to keep my head and know that I will sometimes need someone to knock some sense into me. And all of that is ok. Because there are 2 days a year you can’t control – yesterday and tomorrow. That leaves today, and today, I’m just going to do my best and try to have fun doing it.

THE METABOLISM RESET GUIDE

THE METABOLISM RESET GUIDE

Do I Need A Metabolic Reset?

If you are new to this concept of “eating more” and fueling your body properly, you undoubtedly have a lot of questions. You know you should eat Metabolism Reset Graphicmore, but how much? What is a metabolic reset? (And, do I need it?) How long will a reset take? Will this work for me, or am I that “special snowflake” that won’t have success with this? And then thoughts like “I got fat eating more. Why would I want to do that to lose weight?” start running through your mind. It’s enough to make you want to run for the hills!

Just the idea of increasing calories is a terrifying thought for most people, especially when you have had the “eat less/move more” mentality drilled into your head for your whole life. We get it! We were all there once. Brainwashed by commercials with promises to get you into that skimpy bikini (or Speedo) by summer… The truth of the matter is that these diets will work for a little while, but then the end result is that your weight loss will stall as your metabolism gradually slows down to match the intake. This is the point when most of us start doing some research and realize we have been under-feeding our bodies and need to reverse the tides…

After deciding to take the plunge into the world of Eat More 2 Weigh Less, one of the first questions many people have is: “Do I need to do a metabolic reset?” Well, the answer to this question is as individual as the person asking it.

metabolism reset○ Those with a recent history of eating consistently over their TDEE should be able to calculate their TDEE, jump right in at a 15% cut, set their macros at 40/30/30 (40% Carbs, 30% Protein, 30% Fat), and begin the process fairly quickly.   These people have been over-eating and have most likely not compromised or slowed their metabolisms in any way, so their bodies should respond quite well to a small deficit. This is the easiest case scenario… No metabolic reset necessary, as they have essentially already done it by previously over-eating!

○ However… Those who come from long term low calorie dieting, binge/restrict cycles, eating disorders…etc. will have a very different process to go through as their bodies and brains adapt and finally accept the increased caloric intake.  Often, years of severe caloric restriction will have resulted in a suppressed metabolism … one which has slowed down to match the decreased intake. When we consistently eat at a caloric deficit, the body will naturally assume that this deficit is now maintenance and downshift the metabolism to meet this demand. If this is your case, a reset is highly recommended.

Potentially, you could go right to that 15% cut in hopes that you would see results, but most likely, you will just be prolonging the process. You see, as you slowly increase your calories to that 15% cut, your body will simply adapt and reset at this 15% cut level, seeing that as the new “normal”. You will have, in fact, reset to your cut value, and therefore, the body will not see it as a cut. From that point, the only real option is to do a true reset, where you eat at TDEE or Maintenance calorie levels for a prolonged period of time (more about this later…) And THEN, once the body has accepted your intake at TDEE as normal, when you introduce that small 15% deficit, the body should react positively by shedding some fat.

SO, if you have been dieting for a prolonged period of time, suffered from an eating disorder or even cycles of binging followed by severe caloric restriction, do yourself a favor and work your intake slowly up to TDEE and take the time to do a metabolic reset. This process will give your body a break from the stress of dieting and allow it to become accustomed to eating proper amounts of food again. If you don’t do it at the onset, most likely you will be doubling back and doing it somewhere further down the road when you don’t see the results you were hoping to see. Skip this vital step, and you will most likely be prolonging the length of your journey rather than speeding it up.

 

How to Find Your “True” TDEE

So… you have decided that you need to do a metabolic reset in order to get your metabolism back up and running where it should be.  Now what?

The first thing that you need to in order to start this process is to determine your TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure).  Your TDEE is the amount of calories that your body requires to maintain your weight.  That (TDEE) figure includes your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) as well as your normal day-to-day activities plus any formal exercise.  In theory — based on this definition — if we eat at our TDEE, we will maintain our weight.  The problem is that this theory does not always hold true.  When we have been under-eating and over-exercising, our body will adapt to this stress.  In an attempt to maintain homeostasis, it will down-regulate the metabolism to match the decreased intake.  The result will often be a suppressed metabolism.  This explains why suddenly you may find yourself gaining weight while doing hours of cardio and eating 1,200 calories or less a day … your body has adapted!  You have decreased your intake and increased your exercise for a long enough period of time that the body has finally slowed down your metabolism to match the intake.  Your body is doing what it is supposed to do = maintain homeostasis.

To get your metabolism back up and running where it should be, you’ll need to increase your caloric intake back up to TDEE, or do a Metabolic Reset.  To begin this process, the first thing you will want to do is enter your stats into the EM2WL weight loss calculator to get your TDEE (maintenance) calories.  This will give you an idea of what your ultimate goal will be.  But remember that these calculators just give you estimates.  They are subject to error based on how much exercise you input into the calculator and how active you truly are.  Many newbies to EM2WL lead very active lives, and may actually burn a lot more through their day-to-day activities.  If they simply enter in the 4 hours of formal exercise that they do each week, their final TDEE estimate may actually be too low.

Alternatively, you can use an on-body device such as a FitBit, or Apple Watch to get an idea of how much you burn each day.  These are likely BodyMedia App Readingmore accurate than the calculators, just because they’re monitoring how much activity you actually do each and every day.  However, these devices are also not 100% accurate because they don’t accurately calculate calories burned from your strength training workouts.

So, where does this leave you?  How do you figure out your “true” TDEE?  You have your TDEE estimate and/or your “on-body device” average, but ideally you will also test out these numbers and make sure they are truly accurate for you.

The normal process for doing a Metabolic Reset involves increasing your caloric intake up to your calculated TDEE and staying at that level for a minimum of 8 – 12 weeks (much longer if you come from a history of severe dieting or caloric restriction).  We generally recommend that you make this increase slowly, adding approximately 50-100 calories to your daily intake each week.  Of course, you can certainly jump right up to TDEE quickly (“rip the band-aid”) or make those increases more substantial, but you may find the increases on the scale to be discouraging.  By making the increases more gradually, you can often avoid some of the gains seen during the “rip the bandaid” approach.  We leave this to the individual as a personal decision.

Now, back to the original question … “How Do I Find My True TDEE?”  In order to do this, you will most likely need to go through a trial and error process.  You have your calculated TDEE, but how do you figure out if that is “true” or not?  As you are going through the process, gradually increasing your daily caloric intake 100 calories a week, keep an eye on the scale.  Generally, as you make these increases, you may see the scale jump up a pound or two, and then during the course of the week, it will generally trend back downwards, often ending up right back where you started, pre-increase.  As you get closer and closer to your calculated TDEE, you may find that it takes a bit longer for your weight to stabilize and drop back down.  At this point, if you find that happening, you may want to take it a bit slower.  Then if your weight has not stabilized and dropped back down by the end of the week, wait until it does before making any further increases.

Once you are at or near your calculated TDEE, watch for slow and steady increases on the scale which do not stabilize over time.  If you do start seeing gains like this, you have most likely surpassed your TDEE, and which point you can back down on your intake by 100 calories or so and you should be right there — at your true TDEE.

What many people find is that their actual TDEE may be higher than what they get with the calculators.  Often their day-to-day activities (chasing kids, doing laundry…etc.) makes them more active than the activity level that they chose when inputting their data into a calculator.  We often tend to underestimate how active we are.  Many people find that they are actually able to eat 100 or 200 calories more than the calculators give them, simply by “testing the waters” and not blindly accepting those numbers as accurate.

So, give it a try!  Surely by now, you have resigned yourself to the fact that this is not a fast process, so take the time to make sure you know your “true TDEE.”  Don’t blindly trust the calculators, test it out and see how much you can really eat before you start seeing true gains.  Ignore those monthly fluctuations and the jumps that occur after increasing your intake.  Keep pushing your intake higher and higher until you start to see slow, steady gains that do not stabilize over time.  As hard as it may be, don’t worry about gaining.  You can always just drop your intake down and those gains will stop.  Remember:  nothing that you are doing during this process is irreversible.  Take the time to do it right … right from the beginning.  You won’t regret it!

 

When Does My Reset Start?

You have finally gotten brave and decided to do a metabolic reset. You have diligently upped your intake slowly to your calculated TDEE level.

You added 100 calories on each week, and faithfully continued this process until you got your intake from rock bottom all the way up to your maintenance calories, maybe taking months to get to this point. Yay! Now you have reached TDEE, and you are ready to cut, right? NO.   Now, this is the point where your metabolic reset actually begins. This is the point where the healing of body and mind starts to take place as your body begins to trust that this new, increased intake will be consistent, and not just another fluctuation, like so many times in the past. Yes, you have just spent what is possibly a few months getting your intake up to maintenance levels, but technically, your reset has not yet begun until now.

Now, you will need to stay eating consistently at TDEE levels for a minimum of 8 – 12 weeks, possibly longer if you come from a long history of severe caloric restriction. Some people have found it takes as long as a year to become fully healed and ready to move on. This part of the journey is as individual as the person taking it. Everybody is different and one size certainly does not fit all. Use this time to introduce strength training into your life, if you haven’t already done so, and enjoy the benefits of building some muscle (which really is possible now that you are finally eating at TDEE). Sit back and truly learn to love eating more.

 

When Is My Reset Over?

Okay, so you didn’t rush the metabolism reset. You have eaten diligently at maintenance levels for two, three, eight, maybe even twelve months.   Congratulations!   Now, how do you know when it is over? How do you know when it is the right time to cut?

There are a few key things to look at when making that decision:

○ One thing to consider is the mental aspect of the journey. For many, it is just as important as the physical part. Hopefully, during your reset you have changed the way you view your food. Food is no longer the enemy, and you have begun to see and appreciate it as a much-needed source of fuel. You have learned to no longer fear carbs or fats, and instead fit them in to your daily life (yes, even chocolate!). We feature a lot of Success Stories from EM2WL followers on our website, and hopefully when you read them you have noticed the mental transitions that had to take place both before and during the reset process. This is a vital part of the process. If you have not fully embraced eating more, then you are not ready for a cut.

○ Are you rushing to finish your reset? Are you in a hurry to start that cut? Are you counting down the days until you can introduce that 15% deficit and begin your weight loss journey? If this is you, then you are most likely not ready. At least not mentally…. When your reset is over, you will know it. You will have fully accepted that this is your new way of life. In fact, when you are ready, you will actually be dreading the day you have to give up any calories! Suddenly that 15% deficit will seem huge and you will be contemplating starting with just a 10% cut, or maybe even 8%,  or 5… You get the idea :-)

○ As far as the physical aspect, if you have been eating at an extreme deficit prior to beginning your reset and had symptoms of metabolic damage such as fatigue, hair loss, brittle nails, low body temperature and/or loss of menstruation, you should begin to see all of these improving. Seeing improvements in these areas is a good sign that your body is recovering and now using those additional calories for normal maintenance functions, and not simply the vital ones.

Succ○ Your weight will have stabilized. Often, the reset process comes with some associated weight gain. Some of that is water, as glycogen stores are refilled. Some of it may come from other sources. When we subject our bodies to severe caloric restriction and excessive cardio, the weight that is lost is not all necessarily fat. The weight that is lost can also be from muscles, tendons, ligaments and even brain tissue! As we begin to re-feed and nourish our bodies properly, the body will begin to rebuild that muscle, tendon, ligament and brain tissue and that will show up as a gain on the scale. Note: this is just another reason to not rely on the scale as your sole method for gauging success. Not all scale losses are good ones! … I mean, who wants to lose brain tissue?!

As you have worked your way through the reset process, chances are, your weight may have fluctuated. A lot. By the time your reset is complete, these fluctuations should have stabilized. Yes, you will still have those ups and downs caused by water retention following a high sodium day, or water retention due to DOMS following a heavy lifting day, or that normal 3 – 5 pound gain many see around TOM, but overall your weight should be holding fairly stable.

○ By the time you are ready to cut, all of those overly full, bloated feelings that you may have experienced as you increased your calories should have subsided. You should feel comfortable eating at your Maintenance calories (TDEE). You should not feel like an over-stuffed turkey on Thanksgiving, in fact you should feel hungry again! These are all signs that your metabolism has returned to a normal state.

 

No matter what your dieting history, EM2WL will work for you.  It is all just a matter of doing your research, figuring out your “numbers” and determining what plan will be correct for you, and then putting that plan in place to get you to your caloric goal.  Each person’s plans will be different.   Some people will see results in as little as 4 – 6 weeks, while others may take as long as a year, depending on their dieting history (the more severe the dieting history, the longer the “metabolic healing” can be expected to take).  Research and patience will be key, in either case.  And, if you need help along the way, EM2WL is here to help with our online courses and coaching programs.

How Do I Find My True TDEE?

How Do I Find My True TDEE?

weight loss goalSo… You’ve been doing some reading and have come to the conclusion that you have been under-eating, over exercising, and your metabolism is now suffering.  You may have also decided that you need to do a metabolic reset in order to get your metabolism back up and running where it should be.  Now what?

The first thing that you need to in order to start this process is to determine your TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure).  Your TDEE is the amount of calories that your body requires to maintain your weight.  That (TDEE) figure includes your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) as well as your normal day-to-day activities plus any formal exercise.  In theory — based on this definition — if we eat at our TDEE, we will maintain our weight.  The problem is that this theory does not always hold true.  When we have been under-eating and over-exercising, our body will adapt to this stress.  In an attempt to maintain homeostasis, it will down-regulate the metabolism to match the decreased intake.  The result will often be a suppressed metabolism.  This explains why suddenly you may find yourself gaining weight while doing hours of cardio and eating 1,200 calories or less a day … your body has adapted!  You have decreased your intake and increased your exercise for a long enough period of time that the body has finally slowed down your metabolism to match the intake.  Your body is doing what it is supposed to do = maintain homeostasis.

To get your metabolism back up and running where it should be, you’ll need to increase your caloric intake back up to TDEE, or do a Metabolic Reset.  To begin this process, the first thing you will want to do is go to an online calculator and enter your stats to get your TDEE (maintenance) calories.  This will give you an idea of what your ultimate goal will be.  But remember that these calculators just give you estimates.  They are subject to error based on how much exercise you input into the calculator and how active you truly are.  Many newbies to EM2WL lead very active lives, and may actually burn a lot more through their day-to-day activities.  If they simply enter in the 4 hours of formal exercise that they do each week, their final TDEE estimate may actually be too low.

BodyMedia App Reading

Apps sync to your preferred device to give you an idea of how many cals you burn each day

Alternatively, you can use an on-body device such as a FitBit, or BodyMedia band to get an idea of how much you burn each day.  These are likely more accurate than the calculators, just because they’re monitoring how much activity you actually do each and every day.  However, these devices are also not 100% accurate because they don’t accurately calculate calories burned from your strength training workouts.

So, where does this leave you?  How do you figure out your “true” TDEE?    You have your TDEE estimate and/or your “on-body device” average, but ideally you will also test out these numbers and make sure they are truly accurate for you.

The normal process for doing a Metabolic Reset involves increasing your caloric intake up to your calculated TDEE and staying at that level for a minimum of 8 – 12 weeks (much longer if you come from a history of severe dieting or caloric restriction).  We generally recommend that you make this increase slowly, adding approximately 50-100 calories to your daily intake each week.  Of course, you can certainly jump right up to TDEE quickly (“rip the band-aid”) or make those increases more substantial, but you may find the increases on the scale to be discouraging.  By making the increases more gradually, you can often avoid some of the gains seen during the “rip the bandaid” approach.  We leave this to the individual as a personal decision.

Now, back to the original question … “How Do I Find My True TDEE?”  In order to do this, you will most likely need to go through a trial and error process.  You have your calculated TDEE, but how do you figure out if that is “true” or not?  As you are going through the process, gradually increasing your daily caloric intake 100 calories a week, keep an eye on the scale.  Generally, as you make these increases, you may see the scale jump up a pound or two, and then during the course of the week, it will generally trend back downwards, often ending up right back where you started, pre-increase.  As you get closer and closer to your calculated TDEE, you may find that it takes a bit longer for your weight to stabilize and drop back down.  At this point, if you find that happening, you may want to take it a bit slower.  Then if your weight has not stabilized and dropped back down by the end of the week, wait until it does before making any further increases.

Kiki and AJ on the park swings

“Activity level” isn’t just about your formal workouts – many moms underestimate activity level

Once you are at or near your calculated TDEE, watch for slow and steady increases on the scale which do not stabilize over time.  If you do start seeing gains like this, you have most likely surpassed your TDEE, and which point you can back down on your intake by 100 calories or so and you should be right there — at your true TDEE.

What many people find is that their actual TDEE may be higher than what they get with the calculators.  Often their day-to-day activities (chasing kids, doing laundry…etc.) makes them more active than the activity level that they chose when inputting their data into a calculator.  We often tend to underestimate how active we are.  Many people find that they are actually able to eat 100 or 200 calories more than the calculators give them, simply by “testing the waters” and not blindly accepting those numbers as accurate.

So, give it a try!  Surely by now, you have resigned yourself to the fact that this is not a fast process, so take the time to make sure you know your “true TDEE.”  Don’t blindly trust the calculators, test it out and see how much you can really eat before you start seeing true gains.  Ignore those monthly fluctuations and the jumps that occur after increasing your intake.  Keep pushing your intake higher and higher until you start to see slow, steady gains that do not stabilize over time.  As hard as it may be, don’t worry about gaining.  You can always just drop your intake down and those gains will stop.  Remember:  nothing that you are doing during this process is irreversible.  Take the time to do it right … right from the beginning.  You won’t regret it!

Just starting the process and need a step-by-step guide?  Get our FREE Quick Start Guide!

Original_Beauty’s Journey to Health

Original_Beauty’s Journey to Health

FamilyAs you know this has been quite difficult for me. With the past of the eating disorder trying to take control. I have had many slips but never given up. I had anorexia for 10 years, being emaciated, tube fed, detained. Then bulimia for 15 years (nearly 3 years purge free) I have always had a horrible history with food and eating.

I had known for some time something had to change but I felt I lacked the skills to change this. I felt stuck. I felt powerless. I believed I would have to live the rest of my life diet yo-yoing, a miserable thought. I wanted to change because of my two daughters. I did not want them following my bad habits. I knew what I wanted but how to make it happen?

I spent a decade hating myself, starving myself, purging…my life was a complete mess. I’d go 30 days straight without eating and still exercising, then wondering why I was in hospital being tube fed. I wanted freedom, but I never thought I would be free. I felt like a bird trapped in a cage. My life was the same every day. Get up weigh myself, shower, gym for 2-3 hours. Shower. Go home. School. Home, read ways to burn more calories. Bed. That was my life…then there would be days I’d binge and purge from hunger, enemas, and laxatives. But my life changed for the greater good when I was in hospital detained, being tube fed, not being able to leave bed…I had that light bulb moment. From there on I gained a lot of weight, my body was confused and held onto everything I ate.

What made my recovery harder for me was having 3 miscarriages and having a premature son at 24 weeks who lived 6 days. The guilt. The hate. The anger. The depression. Talk about a major relapse.

Then I discovered EM2WL and this is where my story begins…

I have been sitting here for nearly 30 minutes wondering how to start this entry. I think with last year, trying so hard to lose weight and putting in so much effort and getting very little results has made me think. It’s been something I have been trying to put the pieces together for a little while now.

You’d think with tracking your calories for a year (and honestly) keeping to a 1400 calorie diet and going to the gym nearly every day (burning 400-500 calories) I’d have results. After weeks of trying to find information I came across “Eat More to Weigh Less” I was a little hesitant to go there and look but the other part of me was interested.

ChildrenI can starve, I can purge, but for the life of me I cannot get this weight off me healthy. I’m trying to learn, but it is hard!

Spending hours reading, and talking to people it has been a real eye opener. The amounts they eat and with half the exercise I’m doing and losing weight…I was/am jealous!!! Reading their stories, they were all so similar to mine, their history. Looking at the photos, amazed me. I had to admit I was very interested…

As they say if what you are doing isn’t working then something has to change. I’m ready for change.

I knew how many calories I was eating. I had a start. I went to many TDEE calculators to see what numbers it would give me. These numbers blew me away, I couldn’t believe it. It took me days for this to sink in and make some sense. My TDEE was just over 2700!!! For weight loss 2200, my jaw dropped.

I had a random thought last night, before the birth of my youngest daughter, Jasmine, I lost weight easily because I was eating more and not killing myself at the gym. Things were starting to click with me. Maybe this was the missing piece of the puzzle I needed.

I spent the past four weeks bringing my calories from 1400 to 1600 calories. I have had to change my exercise because I am draining myself, giving myself no rest or time to recover.

So I have had to make two massive scary changes.

1) Eat more
2) Less HIIT

So, right now I am working on doing HIIT 3 times a week and eating 2200 calories. No less than 2000 calories a day, no excuses.

I can do this, because I want this. This will be my year.

It has been a real challenge, good and bad, but mostly good. I have been doing a metabolism reset for nearly two months. When I first started I was on average 1400-1500 calories. I was always hungry on that, grumpy because I was hungry, the list goes on. Over the past two months I have been adding to my calories. Normally 100 calories every week, sometimes I’d stay there for two weeks. After all there was no rush, I wanted this to be for life, not just for now.

journey to healthAt this current moment I’m at 2000 calories. I’ve had so many challenges and fears to overcome. The two main ones were:

1) I cannot eat that much. Yes I can. It’s been a process, but I can. It’s actually quite easy. A serving of mixed nuts, there is 200 calories. Not crap food but food that will make me grow strong. If I have too many calories left over I’ll have a banana smoothie, or a small bowl of ice cream. I have added food back into my diet that I thought was too high in calories… nuts, seeds, peanut butter, a glass of milk. Oh my how I love nuts!!! Little things but it all adds up. I always feel so hungry lately, it feels completely weird. I have had to learn how to balance out my food over the day, a little planning goes along way.

2) I will gain too much weight. Oh my how this did my head in… If I was eating 1300-1400 calories and not losing and gaining how could this possibly work?! But I knew in my heart, that something had to change…and now. While doing this I have not gained ANY weight. I was scared I would gain so much weight. Yet I haven’t gained ANY weight. This has really played with my head and done amazing things.

Everything I believed about eating X and no more than X calories for so long, has been so wrong. It has been life changing. I have always been jealous of people who could eat so much and gain nothing… This has been the biggest hurdle for me in my recovery. I’d eat ‘normal’ amounts and gain. Then I’d go back to what I knew worked for me, yet in reality it was only screwing me up more. My goal is to get my calories up to my TDEE (2600/2800 calories) then drop it to 2200/2400 calories. From my understanding once I’ve been at these calories for two months and do a cut I should start to lose weight.

This is not easy for me, while doing this I have had to challenge so many of my core beliefs, it is hard but it has been worth it. I just wish I knew about this much earlier. I’m really enjoying this journey, I’m really enjoying the food. I love this, this is an amazing journey…thank you for sharing it with me.

Jeannetta – a Transformation Story

Jeannetta – a Transformation Story

black sweaterHey there!

My name is Jeannetta! I have no idea where to start my transformation story, and I can’t give exact times and dates. What I can tell you is that finding this group on MFP is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. So, I think I’ll start on the topic of MFP.

I’d done MFP haphazardly in my mid 20’s. I’d always had weight issues.  At a very young age, I was considered chunky. I was always bigger than my peers. In retrospect, I ate horribly as a child and teenager. The truth is, I didn’t know any better.  We ate plenty of junk. Canned foods, fried foods, refined carbs, you name it.  I don’t remember a balance of foods. Everything I learned about food and proper eating habits came to me in my early 20’s. At that point in time, I came home from college tipping the scales way over 200 lbs and about a size 22. I had horrible acne. I couldn’t fit into the latest fashions. I was fat, and I was over it.

When I moved home (Chicago) two things changed. I walked a hundred percent more. I took public transpo everywhere. That meant walking to and from the bus/L stops, walking from those stops to wherever I was going. Then back around again. Running to those stops sometimes. I mean, to go up and down L stairs and ramps, just commuting I had to be climbing a minimum of 13 flights of stairs in a day. If I wanted to go to the corner store/ bar/ most restaurants, I walked.

IMG_7515.JPGThe second thing that changed were my eating habits. I was eating better and didn’t technically realize it until later. I had more variety in my diet because of our food culture in Chicago (fresh foods, etc). One year later, I weighed in out of curiosity one day. My pants were falling off. I’d lost 30 lbs. That’s when I made the connection between activity and food.  Soon after the weigh in, I went and got a gym membership. I not only was doing my daily commute walking, I was doing an hour of interval sprints or the elliptical, and weights maybe twice a week. I’d also started dabbling with that 1200 calorie number on MFP. Cleanses, psyllium tablets, senna tablets, and green tea became a huge part of my diet. I ate but was very restrictive. I was one of those, I don’t eat this and that people, but in private would max a pint of Hagen Daz half the fat vanilla ice cream. I would then justify it by the all the activity, and all the chicken, salmon, broccoli, and sweet potatoes one would enjoy. I would feel guilty for eating out with my girls. When I look back, I had an ED like a mug. I’d lost 60+ pounds, but was obsessed with losing more and getting smaller.

It became harder and harder to maintain. Even though I was doing all the “right” things. The moment I would take a break from working out, I swear 10 lbs would show up so quick!!!!! Even still, I maintained the weight loss, give or take the ten lbs, for almost four years. When I look back, my actions were crazy.  I’d started eating more fresh foods, and less prepared/processed foods, which was great, but that all came with binges.

Here I am, covering myself with my children’s bodies.

Here I am, covering myself with my children’s bodies.

Fast Forward.

I got pregnant, and had two babies between 2008 and 2010. Yeah I know, my lifestyle changed. I began driving everywhere because I didn’t want to be on public transpo with two kids under two. I ate when I could. I had very little time to work out. The weight piiiiiiled on. I cried and cried. I was miserable. I didn’t want to take pictures. I didn’t want to be intimate with my husband. I was tired all the time. Depressed. Ashamed. I became the mom who let herself go. I’d promised myself I’d never be overweight again, and there I was, fat and ashamed with no self-love —constantly feeling sorry for myself.

My husband, he got me right together one day. He said to me, “I love you no matter how big or small you are, but I am soooo tired of you crying about it. If you want to change it, I’ll take the kids to school so you can get up and work out”. I started working out at home in the basement with a friend of mine to a Beach Body program that was sooooo fun!  I was burning like 7-800 cals a session. But, I was also following a 1200 calorie schedule. I wasn’t losing a lb! I did feel better cardiovascular wise, but I was Hangry and I wasn’t losing any weight!  That was the day I decided to utilize MFP to its fullest potential. I was going to go through profiles, see who was the fittest in their pictures and friend them.

2001 to 2012 comparisonThat’s how I found Lucia. Call it luck or whatever, but I really believe I found her by the grace and mercy of The Lord. I’d started down the supplement trail again. I was doing the BB shake, protein shakes, green tea extract, enzymes, etc! I really, I mean in my gut knew I was not supposed to be taking all this crap. I was desperate again. Upon stumbling on her profile, I remember admiring her gun show. I remember doing a double read of her “About Me”. I remember reading she ate over 2500 calories a day. I remember looking back at her picture and thinking WTF? She is LYING!!! I remember going to her diary and reading her log, and my mouth dropping open. I remember being confused. So I friended her, I started going through her friends list and noticing all the EM2WL peeps, and I went on to friend others. I remember sending her the most desperate message. All I remember from that reply was metabolism reset, and Scooby’s Calculator. That’s when the research began. I felt bamboozled. All these years of starvation and excess cardio???? Even though I thought these ideas were crazy, you know, like the idea of EATING. I done everything else crazy, so I took my cals up from 1200 to 2500 in one day. By the end of the week, I’d lost 9lbs. It wasn’t a great 2500 calories. I ate whatever I wanted for about six months. I leveled out at about a 15 lb loss over the next year and a half.

IMG_7518.JPGI was still doing a massive amount of cardio and very little lifting. I’d eased up on the supps. Our family moved to Georgia. I didn’t work for 6 months. I worked out an hour a day, but was sedentary the rest of the day.  I was still eating 2500 or more cals, not making adjustments for my activity levels. I gained 30 lbs.

I followed a few other eating more groups and found that weight lifting, building your metabolism, moderation, and eating for your individual activity levels were all these groups had in common. By this time though, I’d started feeling really crummy. I was tired all the time, depressed/anxious, low libido, bloating, constipation, rapid stomach fat gain etc. I had a laundry list of things going on. I’d started cutting cals slowly, cutting some of my cardio and replacing with weight training like I’d learned from the groups, and eating moderately, but even still, I wasn’t losing, and I wasn’t physically feeling well. I went to the doctor. I found out I was insulin resistant. Yep, I was on my way to having diabetes. I sigh even typing this. I never thought I’d be here. I had a cry fest for a couple of days, mostly because my doctor prescribed me the Atkins or South Beach DIET. I was so over diets at this point. I’d been on a diet my whole adult life. I did not want to go on a DIET. I was tired of restricting. I was at a place where I’d started to accept my body for the way it was, and appreciate what it could do. And now, the doctor wants me to go on another restrictive diet. A diet I knew I would fail miserably at, again. I’d already been on both previously and hated every minute of it.

may to june comparisonBut I’m a resourceful old bird. I am. I wasn’t going to be defeated by this. I refused the negative thoughts and started to claim my victory. I headed straight to the diabetes association website. This is where I learned the words glycemic index. I learned how foods effect your insulin, and how insulin contributes to fat loss and gain. I’d already won just by having this information. I was ready. After studying for a few days, I’d found that the damage had already been done to my cells, and while I could become less resistant, there was no science to prove you could reverse the damage to your cells. There was overwhelming science that backed the fact that you could control your insulin levels and keep them normal by the foods you eat. Those foods are medium to low glycemic index foods.  The best part, was that I could still have carbs. What? Even carbs high on the glycemic index could be eaten sparingly.

I made the commitment to a total lifestyle change. Well really I didn’t have a choice, I could choose to change or live with a disease I didn’t want. So, I incorporated more foods low to medium on the index, weight training five days, and cardio 2-3 days for no more than 30 minutes. I also try not to be so sedentary during the day. I don’t count calories anymore. I eat when I’m hungry and when I’m full I stop. I drink plenty of water, and get my rest.   The glycemic index has been the way for me to get my insulin levels under control. I was able to get my numbers back into normal range without the use of diabetes meds. What’s even crazier is that, the moment I got my insulin under control, the weight started flying off. And guess what? I’m not starving anymore.

final comparisonI’m nowhere near done, but I am on my way.  As of four weeks ago I was down 14 lbs, I’m due to go to the doctor this week. I’m averaging about 5-6 lbs a month as far as loss. I’m getting stronger with every lifting session, and I increase my weight every two weeks.  I super set a lot, and lift with intensity.

Hang in there! Listen to your body. If you need help, see a physician. But most of all, don’t give up on yourself. Be your biggest cheerleader and your biggest competition. If I can overcome, I know you can too! I hope this helps someone. My story is a “to be continued”.

 

 

Gemmybean’s EM2WL Success Story

Gemmybean’s EM2WL Success Story

success storyI have been on this journey for about five months now, at the beginning I’ve got to admit whilst the science made sense I was skeptical. I kept thinking well if it’s that easy why isn’t everyone else doing it.  I had already come to the conclusion that these low calorie diets were doing more harm than good, had already experienced that first hand.  I didn’t want another holiday to go by where I would be vetting the photos before showing anyone to take out the horrible, fat ones.  I figured ‘why not’ there’s months til my holiday I’ll give it a go.

I’m not going to say that the journey has been easy, I have had to deal with some pretty big mental issues. It’s extremely hard to get your head around the fact that you really can eat more (in my case a lot more and still lose weight) and also learn to deal and how to cope when the scale doesn’t do what it’s supposed to. But I persevered believing that the hardship and the stress would be worth it in the end.  So I continued to eat more, continued to lift heavy weights, and now also added in running.  It no longer was a hardship, somehow along the way it became ‘normal’ and I stopped fretting about the scale and stopped fretting about going slightly over my allowance.

success storyI log my intake on a regular basis, and do keep an eye on my weight, but I really feel as though for the first time in a long time, my weight has taken a back seat.  I feel as though I am just living my life, without worrying about what I’m eating all the time.  I can’t pretend I’m there yet, I still have several inches of fat that I have to lose before I can say I have finished cutting. But I wouldn’t have gotten to this point if someone hadn’t sent me the link to the group one day – this is why I feel that the Eat More to Weigh Less lifestyle (because it shouldn’t be viewed as a quick fix diet!) should be shouted from the rooftops!!!

I am obviously delighted that I have lost weight and inches, but I really feel that my favourite benefit is feeling as though I have control over my eating.  I don’t binge, then feel guilty and wanting to starve myself. I don’t feel as though there are things that are out of reach or feel as though I have  to restrict my eating of certain things.

success storyIt sounds crazy, but I am seriously happily living my life, I don’t think I even really think about food like I did before, where I was constantly thinking about what I was going to eat next, is everyone going to think I’m a pig if I have another chocolate or biscuit.  Now I literally eat what I want and move on, and it’s AWESOME!!!!!!!

So, I feel like I’m here to stay the course, I have totally turned my life around, and am eating loads and exercising loads (and really enjoying it).  I have found that I have started to inspire more people around me, now they can see my results, so hopefully they will also abandon these crazy 1,000 calories diets in favour of listening to what their body wants. Everyone should know that there is no need to starve themselves, there is another healthier way of doing this.

STOP Spinning your wheels and Get OFF the Rollercoaster!

 

 

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